I suppose it's about time I covered this subject. I have stated previously that I have several friends and relatives that choose to live alternative lifestyles or maybe it is simply the way they are made. That debate is for psychologists, religious leaders and nut-job politicians. They will screw up just about anything, anyway, so whatever reason a person has feelings for the same sex we'll just say its nature.
If you know anyone that is gay or lesbian, is it on good terms? In every personality type, every job, every social situation there are people that are a bit overzealous or perhaps even overbearing. These people are the ones that give rise to stereotypes. You Kingwoodians will remember Gary Cale from Bruceton a.k.a.--Scary Mary. He looks like he walked out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. He doesnt necessarily act much different from us and truth be told, I dont think he's gay, but his appearance is very off-putting. He has become a walking joke over the years and it is a shame, because I've talked to him from time to time and he seems okay. He doesnt talk crazy or try to hit on me or people he sees around him. Other than his appearance, he seems fairly normal.
I know you all know folks or have seen them on movies or tv that are what the masses call "flaming" or "butch" . I will have to admit that I have described a few ladies with the term "bull-dyke" . Am I making you uncomfortable or angry? It is not my intention. I simply think that you should speak the truth. If that means that I admit to giving in to bigotry or bias from time to time, then I should at least be man enough to admit it. Sometimes, though, it just seemed funny. I have no problem with whatever your sexual orientation is. Someone that is mature enough to not "hit" on someone they know is not gay or lesbian deserves the same respect as anyone else. You know what I'm talking about: there are those out there that for some reason or another, will hit on or make someone of the same sex uncomfortable even when they know they are not gay. Someone that has a different sexual orientation and still maintains their maturity and sensitivity of those around them should be considered equal in your eyes and mine.
That brings us to the reason I chose this subject. I have seen gays harassed and I'm sure you have too. We have seen them denied rights because they chose a partner that traditional customs does not want to recognize. They are forbidden to marry in most places and are denied benefits frequently when they do. Why? If they are truly loving and caring of one another and choose to spend the rest of their lives together, should they not be afforded the same benefits and opportunities that you and I have? Just because you or I are not attracted to the opposite sex doesnt mean it is wrong. I'll admit, I used to think it was. You cannot "have" children. (yes, I know, they can adopt, not what i'm talking about) It was a so-called "christian" upbringing and old, ingrained prejudice that made me think that. I dont see any difference between two men or two women loving each other and what the rest of us do. You may find it gross and if we're talking about two hot chicks, well, lets just say that I AM a guy, you know. ;) Seriously, If a gay or lesbian lifestyle is not affecting work or social habits when interacting with a traditional person, then why the bias? Most people our age or younger are quite accepting of just about anyone. There will probably always be people that hate what they are not familiar with or know nothing about or maybe afraid of.
If you dont know something, ask a question. Duh. Just because you dont think a certain way, doesnt meant there arent alternatives. I told you in previous rants and comments that I was in the military with people that were gay and they were just as fine a soldier as anyone else. I have worked with people that were gay and lesbian and they probably did a better job than others because they didnt want the bias. I worked with a guy in the mines(ungodly prejudice people there, trust me) that was saying something a bit, shall we say, adventurous. Some guys said " That's f'ing gay" He said " It's only gay if you like and I just like it a little bit". This guy was probably 15 years older than me and he was married, but he wasnt afraid of himself. He had kids and a wife that he loved, but he knew what his feelings were telling him. He had sexual limitations that were just "different" from the norm. He wasnt going to leave his wife, he just wasnt afraid to explore things that to him were pleasurable.
I spoke of children earlier. I know this may be wrong or I guess you can call it conjecture, but I think a lot of the bias that people have about a gay or lesbian couple having children stems from a fear of the child being harmed. This could be mentally by them having a confusion between their parents and traditional parents. It could be a fear of them being sexually abused. Yes, this is unfounded. It's not me you have to worry about. I know that if a couple that cannot have children for whatever reason are going to adopt, they will adopt out of love and desire. That applies to traditional AND gay couples, right? I think it does, but many officials dont . High profile actors and actresses have adopted kids and with the exception of Rosie O'Donnell(whack job) the kids seem fine. You never hear anything in the news that reflects negatively on the parenting. We have friends in Morgantown that happen to be a gay couple. The older of the two was married for many years and has a lovely daughter and beautiful grandchildren. He and his partner dote on the children and as far as we care, they are probably better Grandparents than a lot of the ones we know. They get along great, make good livings and are very quick to brag about their "babies". There are always bad parents and you know all too well traditional parents can be true monsters. I'm sure that there are gay and lesbian couples that shouldnt have kids, but friends, family and case workers for an adopted child would hopefully catch any abuse quickly, but then, how often does that happen with traditional couples?
It's not just rednecks around here that are biased or prejudiced. I've heard it from just about every income and social level. I would hope in this day and age, most of us are teaching our kids to be tolerant of everything except abuse and ignorance. It is way better than it was 50, 30 even 20 years ago. Remember when Boy George was popular? Big joke. Somebody said to me: call him what you will, he's still a millionaire and you're poor. He was right. It didnt matter what I thought, he did his job and was very successful at it. Remember when Ellen DeGeneres came out? Wasnt her show cancelled? What a load. What difference did it make from the day before when most people thought she was "normal"? It didnt. I was sad, I think she's very funny. That and Anne Heche really turned my key.
So, here we are. I think that with education and understanding and time, we will hopefully erase all the hate and prejudice. Look at racism: almost a 140 years after the civil war and they are still fighting it. There are jerks and worthless people in every lifestyle, race and gender, trust me--it is not exclusive. I'm not telling you to go out and hug a gay, and for crying out loud, dont ask him to watch a "Sex and the City" marathon with you. (you cant stay up all night, you have to go to work in the morning) Try talking if you dont understand something, most folks'll be glad to clear up any misconceptions if you approach the subject without malice and with some willingness to learn and accept. Oh yeah, thank god for girl on girl videos and threesomes and hot girls kissing and ....wow, I gotta go...
Well I used to think like you used to think Scott about gay people, probably because of upbringing. People do have the right to choose the way they want to live as long as it's not hurting someone else is how I feel, and that's were I disagree a little with you on gay couples raising children, yes they have the right to raise a child but because of society the children usually and will suffer.
ReplyDeleteTheir will always be racism and gay "bashing". Because number one there will always be people who push this "trash" on their children and number 2 there will always be some gay people or ethnic people who are never happy with how the world looks at them and will always be complaining.
The only thing I have to disagree with you on is that Portia de Rossi (Ellen's wife) is *so* much cooler, and hotter, than frelling Anne Heche.
ReplyDeleteWell, let's see. There has and always will be some sort of prejudice against some group of people, until people realize that people are just that, people. We are all different and all the same. I personally never wanted kids, except for one weak moment that lasted about a month. But I have a ton of gay and lesbian friends who are. They are not only great parents but they bring up their children to not be bigots. I've met some of the kids and wow, I'm impressed with the Mr.John, and yes sir's that I get. Very polite and great kids.
ReplyDeleteHere's my thing, I've was worried what others would think of me for a long time. Punished myself for being gay. Including two stays in the booby hatch for trying to kill myself. All over the fear of not being accepted.
I've grown, I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin, and I don't worry about fitting in. I just do. I really care very little about what anyone thinks outside my circle of friends. But I live in a city that very much allows that. But think of all those who live in Kingwood like places who live in constant fear (Matthew Shepard for one). And there is a reason why the suicide rate among gay teens is staggeringly High (fear of not fitting in or just for their lives) think of them and then just try being nice to them. You may save a life.