79 Riddle me This

I had several good topics for rants today, but they'll just have to wait until next week. 'Booker friend(not to be confused with hooker friend) Kim Thorn, has alluded to something that I have encountered in my personal life, although not for the same reason as her. It is something I find detestable and if it ever happens to ME again, I think I will have to punch someone. Oh and then quit.

I believe our friend has been told she cant or shouldnt spend time, her OFF time mind you, with someone. I believe it was by a boss. She said she was called immoral. First, who the hell is someone else to judge her as immoral? Has she molested a child? Abused a child or the elderly? Has she harmed an animal or someone weaker than her? NO. I seriously doubt that from what I know about Kim. She may have abused a bottle or two, but who among us hasnt?

What is it Christians say? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Lets back up. Knowing a little about Kim, I would say she goes to work when she's scheduled, does her job well and goes home. She's friendly and a little talkative;), but that should be about as far as this person's reach goes. I didnt ask which job, I know she works more than one. I will guess this person's statement alludes to something in Kim's personal life that they dont approve of. Hmm. I dont think that should concern you, Mr./Mrs. Person.

If Kim is doing nothing wrong at work, even though she may have discussed personal aspects of her life there, she has every right to see whomever she wants and to do whatever she wants. Well, legally anyhow. A couple years ago, I was directly involved, through work, with a highly placed individual. He was "let go" during a dispute, we'll put it that way. The owners' felt it was their right to tell all their employees that this person's name was not to be mentioned and we were not supposed to talk to them, ever. Bull Shit. Forgive my language, but I will not be told how I excercise my personal freedoms outside the workplace. If they dont want us talking to this person on company time, fine. You will NOT tell me what I can do when I walk out that door. Kim appears to have been put in a similar position. I cannot tell her what to do, but I know Kim is probably more vocal than I am and other than needing her job, she may have already said something.

Here we are. My personal morals would have led me to quitting(without punching), if the subject had not been dropped. I cant tell our friend what to do, but I would not allow this jackass to get away with this. Your boss or supervisor's role ends with the workday. If at all possible, rationally explain the situation to a higher-up, that is, if you can reach them. If there is no satisfaction, I say it's time to move on. I know the economy sucks, but I bet just about any one of us can find a job somewhere. You have to be willing to sacrifice for your morals and individual freedoms. Kim's situation applies to us all.

How many of you have stayed in a job you hate, with a supervisor that was amoral, immoral, irritating or inept, just because you "needed" the job? Right. Most of us at one time or another. I have quit reaaaallllly good jobs, well one, that I found to be immoral. We were being told quite a few aspects of our personal life were to be_____, and I was not going to compromise to suit them. I'm not saying that our friend should just up and quit. Channels first, then maybe some outside attention if that doesnt work. I just know what I would have done already. It's easy to say that, I suppose, when you're not in a given situation. I have never been afraid of change and for some of you, I think that's part of what it would boil down to. Your crappy job with horrendous people may be close to home, have hours that suit your personal life or you think the pay's too good to quit. Been there, done that. Let me tell you from personal experience: it is NOT easy to walk away from a fairly secure job with high pay to give yourself some moral satisfaction. It took a long time for me to climb out of the financial hole I dug, but I always knew I had kept a valuable piece of myself.


As for our friend, I believe the Kim I know would give him/her a piece of her mind. It usually gets them if you approach it from a logical, reasonable, LEGAL aspect. I've pissed more than one boss off using that approach. They want to inject their morals or values or just be mean because they can. We cannot let them win. We cant do anything about the price of oil, we cant keep idiots overseas from killing each other, we cant even stop the idiots WE elected from re-posting Ben "Bailout-the-ass" Bernanke, but we can save a little piece of ourselves with a little sacrifice.

Kim, if you need a job, I bet one of us could help find you one. It really is scary in this economy, but where do our hearts lie? If I can help one person save their sould by suggesting this, it's worth all the flak I'll get for suggesting you compromise your financial welfare in favor of keeping your morals.

In previous rants, I have discussed others' personal lives and their sexuality, both heterosexual and same-sex. I and many of you, do not have an issue with people that are in same-sex relationships. If this jerk has a problem with it, maybe they should just grab some balls and come right out and say it. Do it off the clock and with some tact. It's still reprehensible and narrow minded, but at least it would be honest. Kim, I hope you're not mad at me over this, but boy, I get pissed when I hear about people like this boss of yours. I have always spoken my mind, sometimes to my detriment, but this stuff makes me both mad and sick.

It has bothered me on numerous occasions that some supervisor, supposedly in a position attained because of work habits and good judgement, tries to impose their personal feelings or choices into the work situation. That's not meaning someone trying to get their employees to care about customers or the product, you know I'm talking about them allowing their biases or hatred to come into play. There will always be some situation that you will want to put your beliefs or morals into, but it should not be at the expense of the employee being miserable. They wont want to work and will not produce good results in any given job.

I hope none of you walk up to your boss next week and slug 'em. Well, maybe a kick in the nuts or a cup of coffee in the face would be allright. Man, I'm glad I'm self employed. I cant kick myself in the nuts.

78 Age of Aquarius

I have been half the night, debating the antiquation of the two-party system. The friction and strife that has been created, the division between peoples, is unconscionable. There is too much bickering going on, too much time being wasted, when bills and laws should be being studied and judged. So today, I put to you a new constitution. Mind you, it is only the beginning. Only a base start. The details could be hashed out by someone a little more qualified. This is not to say that "someone more qualified" is a current office-holder, it could be someone with some common sense. Good luck, right?

Rule 1--Individual Freedom - We are free to work and live in any legal manner we see fit.

Rule 2--Religious Freedom - We are free to worship as we see fit barring hate-mongoring or persecution.

Rule 3--Right to a Trial by Your Peers - Every accused will be tried and judged by an odd-numbered jury, the judge will provide fair and adequate sentencing. This will be reviewed by a group of 5 peers. Upon sentencing, terms will be carried out to their full extent barring new evidence that may clear the defendant or reduce thier sentence. Murderers convicted of such that would require a life sentence will be allowed 1 appeal with new evidence. Barring such an appeal, the convict shall be put to death.

Rule 4--Taxation - Every individual not on retirement or government aid pays ____ percent.(To be determined by total governmental need and not to exceed 10 percent of total gross income) All state and federal programs will be paid from this. Businesses will be taxed a similar amount based on the owners or shareholders net profits.(taking into account the gross is used to pay wages and operating costs). There will be no State tax as the comprehensive tax is used to pay state and federal programs). Corporations and businesses will not be given exemptions unless they are in bankruptcy. The Infernal Revenue Service will be revamped to calculate said revenues. (This should be easy enough for a few monkeys and one or two certified public accountants)

Rule 5-- Representation - Every state will be audited and counted (census). Programs will be based on need and paid accordingly. Representation in state and federal government will be based on population.

Rule 6-- Free Speech - Everyone will have the right to free speech and freedom of the press. The only exception to the rule is hate crimes, inciting riots or unrest will be illegal.

Rule 7-- Right to Bear Arms - Citizens have a right to bear arms and defend their homes and lands. Convicted felons will not have this right. A standing army will be maintained for the defense of the country and aid of our allies.

Rule 8-- Foreign Policy - Courteous relations will be established with any country willing to do so. All other countries will be observed and guarded against aggression towards our nation.

Rule 9-- Immigration - Any person desiring of immigrating to the U.S. will first register, apply for citizenship and prove they can effectively speak english and hold a job.(upon acceptance) Any questions should be referred to the Statue of Liberty.

Rule 10-- Accountability - A fair tribunal will be appointed for each block of government to determine accountability and conflicts of interest in a given situation. This system will apply to everyone, no exceptions.

Finally, I would only ask that before any of you PETA-esque or bleeding hearts start yelling at me, Only consider the concept of what I am saying. Simplification is what we need, not more laws. We have allowed exception after exception for as long as there has been a U.S. These exceptions have driven us to the state we are in. We listen to politicians that have a personal interest in big business tell us how we have to give ungodly amounts of money to save them because they are "too big to fail". We watch criminals with no hope of parole clog our prison systems with useless, endless appeals when the money spent keeping them for life could be used for other programs. We have rampant illegal immigration and a military that is fighting useless wars, both costing us untold billions of dollars. We have a complicated tax system that favors big business and the wealthy with ridiculous breaks when small business and individuals pay the lion's share. We sink money into programs that are a bottomless pit while people go hungry, live on the street and single parents struggle to survive.

It is time to wipe the slate clean, start fresh with simpler, comprehensive rules that can be overseen by a better system of checks and balances. Control our borders, control spending on programs the public cannot fathom, even when we see them on the news and control the politicians that use our government as their own personal playground, twisting and contorting the rules to suit themselves.

Fairness and common sense are dead concepts in America. We have devalued ourselves and allowed a once-glorious government concept to become a travesty of itself. Laugh at me if you will, but we must experience a revolution of one kind or another, yet again. The people trying to "change" and "help" now are only putting bandaids on bullet wounds.

Planted seeds, nurtured and guarded, one day grow into great, sheltering trees. You know my favorite quote from Jefferson:" The tree of liberty must be refreshed, from time to time, with the blood of patriots." This doesnt necessarily mean literal blood. He meant it that way, but it can be applied to sacrifices made by people using their voices and being cast down for it.

So, my friends, as I announce my 2012 candidacy for president, I run on the "Gladiator" platform: I will fight for a complete government overhaul and when my sword is red with the blood of the last tyrant, I will hand the keys to the kingdom back to the public. America was founded as a Republic, after all, "for the people" and "by the people". Wouldnt that be something? A cursing, drinking president that worked menial and intellectual jobs both? Who has actually TALKED to folks from all walks of life and knows a bit about the struggles that real people have? Well. Wouldnt that be a novel concept? Hail to the chief, he's the chief and he needs hailing......(sing it, you'll get it)

77 The Show

Not so long ago, but long enough, a little boy was born into a big, wide world. He was born in a time of social upheaval and raised with new ideas and ideals. He was encouraged to read a lot and express himself in various ways. The days seemed bigger and brighter, the summers long and the winters were fun too. He was allowed to explore the world around him, digging in the dirt, playing in fields, woods and creeks. He had the usual toys: cars, guns, football, baseball, etc. He loved cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, "guns" in general were great. He spent hours watching the plants and animals and bugs that were all around. He never knew what a "city" really was. It was a bunch of buildings on a tv show, that was all. That was fine by him, there was more to learn here anyway.

As he got older, he realized there was a bigger world and yet, he wanted to be here. "Here" was peaceful, "here" was a pace that suited him but still, he wanted to see the other side of it. He knew someday he wanted to find out a little more about people than what was "here".

So, he got a little older, he dabbled with a few things: a couple sports, a few school activities and he worked after school. He fell in love a couple times, the way a young man will, had his heart broken one less time than that and they started a life of their own. The little boy was still inside him. Always reading, always writing, never afraid to try something or take a chance outside the norm. Except he didnt show his work to anyone. He didnt like the idea of people making him feel "less".

He had been on the fringe most of his school years, at least that's how he felt. Most people liked him, they talked, joked, laughed and some grew close to him. After school and a while at college, he and his bride set out to see a little more of the world. He worked for a time in a city and moved home rather quickly. He went to the Army to serve his country, much like his father and uncles and cousins before him. He saw that there were people that accepted you for you, for your stoicism, your humor, your temperment. No high-school cliques, no need-based groups here. These people and their families bonded with you for you, not for what you have or where you came from. This is what he liked, but somewhere, in the back of his mind, he longed for home. When his term of service was up, he brought his bride and his new son home, the home that had seemed so long ago and far away. Soon there was another son to raise, to teach, to hold high. They grew so quickly, surely it would slow down?

He felt loved with his little family and they rode out storms together for many years. Deaths, accidents, job changes, moves, a try at self-employment, girlfriends, sports, teen hormones and the fall of a country.

The man without was still the boy within throughout all. He wanted the best for his family, just like everyone else. He lived and learned through trial and error, always feeling a little something missing though. What was it? How to find it?

With some insistence from his wife and some friends, he began writing his thoughts down, online, for all to see. His fears were overcome for the most part, he loved to write and with the exception of the teen hormones, his life seemed to come full circle. Many old friends, new friends, family and of course his wife, all seemed to appreciate his stories, his ideas and his antics. He finally has a sense of satisfaction that goes deep down. This very fall, he will start taking college classes to finish a degree that will add to the circle, to fill it in.

The man without would like to thank his wife and all those around him for their support and encouragement, the boy inside would like to look at internet porn and eat some hot wings. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. See you tomorrow.

76 FACE TIME

Okay, my facebook friend, Steven Titchnell brought up something this morning. His opinion about an extended school schedule that I brought up was that it would up crime and trouble because kids wouldnt want to go year-round. I would like to give you all my opinion today.

First, I am only guessing at the actual schedule because it varies between each place that uses it. I believe it generally goes- 8 weeks on, 2 weeks off and an extended (4 to 6 weeks) break around holidays like Christmas and July 4th. Taking that with a grain of salt, I would like you parents to consider whether you think there would be any benefits to this type of schedule.

First, I brought up that I think the kids would retain more of the instructed material because they have less extended breaks, specifically the ridiculously long 2 and a half months during the summer. Second, they would look forward to having a nice break every 2 months, almost like a "spring break" several times a year. Third, teaching plans would be able to "flow" and instead of a typical 6 week term with a subject, you would have more time to cover it and then move to the next. Fourth, snow days would be easily made up by going the same number of days missed during the 2 week break. Fifth, summertime is traditionally a time of sheer, ungodly boredom by the second or third week, so I feel the kids would be looking forward to going back and not such a pain for their parents for half the summer. Sixth, I think calling a "weather day" would be easier because of point number four and the knowledge that it would be made up without affecting the lesson plans.

These are the biggest ones that I could think of. I know some teachers may gripe about not having their huge summer break, but I think some of them will agree with me, at least on some points. This posting had nothing to do with anything Obama said, in fact, I didnt know until this morning that he has been advocating year-round education, so please, try to leave the politics out of this.

I stated in a facebook posting that I really get tired of listening to the bitching that goes on and yet, when it comes time to put things like this to a vote, it is squashed quite heavily. For crying out loud, what do you people want? Change requires sacrifice sometimes. I see a lot of mothers concerned about snowy or icy roads being dangerous and our current superintendent seems to be willing to take chances with our kids and our teachers. Well, here you are. I already said it: snow days would be a non-issue because they would be easily made up and for that matter, a quick review of past weather patterns averaged out by snow days for the last, say--20 years, would give the board a pattern to put their 2 week break for that section in. It would illiminate at least some of the snow days. Freak storms like we just had would be able to be made up as I have already said.

Your summer vacations would pretty much stay the same as well. Most larger companies are typically off at least part of the week during July 4th. The summer break of 4 to 6 weeks can be easily scheduled for this time. Most of you with that type of job use that week to go somewhere anyway, right? I'm not fishing for you people with weird schedules or liberal time off, I used to work that kind of schedule and 85 percent of the people we know were off to some vacation spot that week.

Trouble with the kids, in my opinion, would eventually go down. I think a little more time at the beginning of a child's education, spent on a subject that some are having trouble in, would translate to a better student and less frustrated child down their educational road. You ALL know what I'm talking about. A child that may not be able to grasp a subject as fast as the others is frequently left behind after a short while. I'm not blaming teachers. They have to move on because they dont have the time in their learning plan for an extra week or two to make sure a child "gets it". That child is left frustrated and often it develops down the road into a "trouble child". You all know damned well what I'm talking about because you've ALL seen it. That child may not be able to put it into words, but they know they cant grasp a concept, the others have and now they feel lessened. They feel angry and then they begin to act out.

Eventually, as the system is implemented, less and less children will fall behind and be shuffled through the system. Even you teachers out there have to notice this happening. Again, it's not your fault, it is an antiquated system that is geared toward the majority. I generally try to give both sides of an argument, but I feel too strongly about this. I know the details of my schedule are not exact, but I think I gave you the concept, albeit briefly. I hope you and I see this change made in our lifetime. I wish it would have been in place for my boys. I think test scores will improve and I think kids attitudes will improve. What you do at home is up to you. Most of you reading this spend time with your kids, that's not the ones we're worried about, it's the kids that dont get enough one on one with their parents and care-givers. One hour of sit-down meal and talk time at night, even with one parent(assuming the other may be working a weird schedule) would show the kids that their parents are interested in them and give them a little less to worry about.

Make your own minds up on this one, but I really think an extended schedule is the way to go. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go argue with some people that think I look like Kevin James. I dont, you know. He's richer, but I look better. And his gut's bigger. Thbbbbb....

75 Death Becomes Us

Recently, an acquaintance chose to end his life. I did not attend either his viewings or his funeral. I was reminded of so many before him, whether natural or abruptly, whose lives were ended and I attended their services. The question has been put to me whether people should be allowed to say their goodbyes and have the extended grieving process that is the modern funeral.

At the risk of sounding callous, I feel the way we mourn our lost is all wrong. Normally, after a passing, we have a viewing process that can last several days and then the graveside service. When my Grandfather passed a couple years ago, many people came to give their support and to reminisce. In life, he was outgoing and never met a stranger, in death, it was reciprocated quite well. I talked to many friends and relatives, reliving old exploits and the whole time, I felt like a zombie inside, alternately laughing about some adventure and grieving till I felt like I might die myself. Finally, the burial was at hand and as the preacher gave his final, mournful prayer and words, I said in front of the assembled: "...and may you be in Heaven 3 days before the devil knows you're dead...". You would have thought I had beaten an infant or raped a nun. There were very few who saw or understood what I had done. My Grandad was always a livewire and frequently interjected some wit into a conversation or had some antic that made everyone laugh. I thought" Why not in death?" Would he not have seen the humor? Yes. I think he would have.

To me, that should be part of the process. A bitter, pallid soul that led a life of bitterness or evil, I could not mourn, no matter how well I knew them or if they were related. Yes, the grieving process is for the living, not the dead, I know this. They are beyond caring. I have always been of the mind that when someone I know dies, I remember the best moments we shared. I've done that ever since I was little. Yes, some of you wont take a child to a funeral, but my parents did. I think it's part of your growing process. I went to one when I was about 8 or 9 and sat there thinking how depressing it was. The person that died was an old family friend, someone I always referred to as "an old farmer". You know? The mindset was the "old" ways, the strict upbringing, the Christian values. Crying, hushed whispers and hollow sentiments floated around the room and all I could think about was leaving. Yes, I was a kid, but that process meant nothing to me.

As I grew, friends and relatives passed and I attended many funerals from people of all walks of life. As I aged and gained a little "street cred" among adults, I tended to make remarks of some moment of levity or tenderness that was shared with the departed. Sometimes I offended, sometimes I brought a smile. I know nothing I do is really with the norm, but I feel adamantly about this one. I think the grieving process should be a little more about what they did in life, who they made happy, what they enjoyed.

Most people are sad and they cry or feel numb for a time because they need to come to grips with never seeing their friend again, never being able to speak to them. This is perfectly natural and I dont have a problem with it, I just dont like the idea of sitting in a room, feeling sorry for yourselves for an extended period of time. Every culture, every race has had their own ways of dealing with death. Our way has become entwined, as with everything here, with money. It's all about the casket and the service. We're not allowed to bury our own dead because of health laws. Okay, I can see that, but there are very few alternatives to the over-priced funeral homes. Here and there, some enterprising individual makes their own casket or pays ahead for their funeral. I think the average funeral runs around 7 to 9 thousand dollars. That's great for the funeral home, but the family is literally burying money they could use elswhere.

I dont want to get too far off on a tangent about the money. My discussion today is about the process. It's alright to grieve, it's good for you. It just feels wrong to me to spend 2 or 3 days cooped up in front of a body, feeling sorry for yourself. Some are scared to go on because they relied heavily on the person, some are sad they wont have that person for advice or conversation and some are just sad/depressed because that is all they've known or been taught to feel at funerals.

So, should we be allowed to mourn? By all means. Should we sit around for days mourning in front of a dead body? I dont think so, but everyone wants to mourn differently. The American Indians elevated their dead and left them to the elements. The Norse floated some on burning vessels into the hereafter. Some cultures dig up their relatives bones every so often and visit them. I always liked the ancients habit of burning the dead on a pyre, sending their spirits to the heavens on a wisp of smoke. This doesnt mean I want a modern cremation, I just love the symbology of sending your mourned to the great here-after, rising aloft on a a plume of fire and ash. It always gave me a primal sense of satisfaction that our ancestors looked up to the sky as heaven and down to the earth as a place of retribution or "hell" though I detest the term.

Many years ago, Roz and I went through the death of both her parents within a year's time. We were present at a seemingly never-ending parade of funerals for family and friends. I suppose in a span of five years, we attended 20 funerals. You learn quite soon to either wallow in self-pity or find a way to put a positive spin on death. In previous rants, I've said I think we move through lives, learning along each path til we reach some pre-determined goal or consciousness. I like to think that each person had their good points and THAT is what we should remember upon their death. Sometimes a person choses to end a life that is too tortuous for them and sometimes it is ended for them, but for the most part we die from either health or age-related issues. The reason is really not as important to me as the life that was led. We all must remember and grieve this life that is gone in our own way, I just dont think it's really all that healthy to keep a stranglehold on the depressing side of it. It is too often encouraged and expected and it should not be so.

Maybe its the Irish in me, I would like a VERY short funeral, no depressing, crappy music in the background. I want music playing that I listened to in life. I want people talking about me, good or bad, about the things I did. I would like a big wake with people eating, drinking and laughing about me or at me, it makes no never-mind. I know I will never know, I wont be there, but it will comfort me towards the end if I know people dont sit around moping about what THEY have lost. If you liked me in life, please remember something fond and voice it to each other. Of course, most of you will be gone, I'm going to live to around a hundred and thirty or so.

74 Shadows of the Day

Not so many years ago, "polite society" meant - men wore suits unless they were working in the garden or had a "blue collar" job, women wore skirts unless they were 18 year old rebellious girls hanging with the wrong crowd, kids were polite and went to bed by 9pm and people actually were social and for the most part, pleasant in public. What went on at home when no one was around may have been vastly different. Hubby had a few too many martinis and smack the wifey around? The kids? Momma hittin' the gin bottle when no one was around? I'm here to tell you- I think I'd take those days over what we have now.

Facebook friend Peggy brought up the 7 deadly sins-..gluttony,wrath,greed,sloth, envy,pride and last but not least, my favorite- lust.....

Every human being from the dawn of the first monkey that figured out how to walk upright and reason, has broken one or all of these so-called "sins". I know I have. I'm slothing right now. I'm envious of this guy's car on the movie "Sex Drive" and I'm about to take my wrath out on this damned puppy that wont quit peeing in the floor 5 minutes after I let her out. I know you've done it too, although you may not admit it.

Mrs. Loughry brought up the question- "I wonder if other people have the same evil, spiteful thoughts that I do and just don't admit it ?" I say "YES". I have been amazed at the Sunday/Wednesday Christians that practice the 3 "F's" the rest of the week--Feedin' Fightin' and Fornicatin'. It has never ceased to amaze me that people can break so many of their own rules and not have the guts to admit it. I'm not saying you have to advertise your indiscretions, just dont be so afraid to admit you've had fun. I know, that entails your sin breaking being limited to non-law breaking events. I'm still betting on your friendly neighborhood Old-Dude that always smiles and waves, keeps his grass country-club and is always nice to the kiddies, sitting in his arm-chair at night, wondering if he could shove his wife of 47 years in the wood chipper and get away with it. She's in the kitchen wondering if she could poison that bitch next door's dog and hide the carcass in their mailbox for the kids to find.

We all have evil thoughts, we all covet things we see, we take pride in ourselves and those we love and we are all gluttonous about something. We lust after others, jobs, things....money, every mother's son of you lusts after SOMETHING. How you approach these "sins" is the thing. You might not like something about a close friend, you may bitch about it to someone else. You might congratulate "Sally" on her new position at work, but you are secretly jealous and wish it was you. When no one's around you might pig out on cookies or nachos or skittles. Or you might not. You may have the thoughts in your head but you dont act on it. I think whichever way you go, be honest with yourself and, to the point of politeness, be honest with others.

I have done naughty things I'm kind of proud of and some than I'm not. I've broken every "commandment" in one way or the other and I really have no qualms about what I've done. I have atoned, in different ways, for what I've done. At least the stuff I felt bad about. A lot of the things I did, I still chuckle about. Granny always said "What comes around goes around." and she's right. How many times have you seen some two-faced jerk screw over everybody around him and get ahead? I'll bet much of his personality, whether it's over-bearing, creepy, whatever, is derived from a lack of something. He probably doesnt like himself or he is so in need of a friend or love, he acts out in that way to compensate. That kind of person usually hates their self and has spent so many years developing blocks, shortcuts and "smash and grab" mentalities they dont know how to change and probably never will.

We know the "slothy" people, too, right? 375 lb welfare chick, wont work, dresses like she just rolled out of a dumpster. This one always gets me. It's a definite moral flaw. Yes, my lazy rear has caused me to put on some pounds, but I still go to work every day, I do what needs done around the house. You do too. We just dont wallow in horrid self-pity, waiting for everyone else to take care of us. A few pounds around the middle or the hips is not the same as being so lazy you have to use a stick with a rag tied to it to wash your nasty ass in between trips to the mailbox to get your monthly allotment.

What about wrath? We've all had weak moments when we were angry or over-stressed and we took our wrath out on something or someone. Kick the cat when no one's looking? Smack your kid a little too hard for something minor? Screw over an employee because you "just dont like "em"? How many times have you made your spouse "pay" because you were pissed about something else?

Lust is my favorite. NO. REALLY? Lust may be the most honest of the 7. If we didnt lust after things, what fun would we have? We lust after nice things to surround ourselves with. We lust after having fun. We lust after someone(whether we wind up with them or not is another story). We lust after money above most other things. After all, money buys the rest of the stuff we lust after. (sometimes that includes women;) ) Without lust we wouldnt be motivated to achieve, to endure, to persevere. Yep, we need a little lust. Well, at least the good kind(and a little of the bad).

So, Mrs. Loughry, to answer your question, Yes, other people think the same, evil thoughts you sometimes think. The next time you wonder this, look at the garbage men. They're thinking " If that rip puts out ONE more bag, I'll....." The smart-ass kid at Hardees that didnt get your order right? Yep--"If she says 'Isaid NO mayo', one more time, I'll....." Look at me. Every time I see Angelina Jolie, I think-"Man, if I had her alone for 1 hour, I'd...." ....play a game of scrabble, Roz. I know what YOU were thinking. Besides, she'd go back and throw rocks at Brad, and you ladies wouldnt want his pretty physique messed up, right?

73-- 364 Days and Counting

I want you to ask yourself "What would I do if I only had one year to live?". I heard this posed to an audience last night. It really hit me that this was a great philosophy to live by.

Just to clarify: I am not talking about sky-diving, smacking a bull in the ass or any other such potentially life-ending endeavours. I am talking about serious, legitimate goals that you would work for those last 52 weeks to see to their end. What would it be? Education? Instill some value or ideal in your kids? Start a business? Finish a project? Each of us has different goals in life, sometimes they overlap, sometimes they are vastly different. Whatever you would do, the premise of this excercise is to change your attitude toward the way you are living now, to the way you would like to live.

When you were young, if you had a definitive goal, did you stick to it? Did you vary from the path you wanted by making compromises? I always wanted to be a writer/journalist/columnist. I wound up doing many things along the way because I wanted to try them. I put my dream on hold and believe me, it's a long road back to the start. What did you dream of? Family? A career? Building a home? Whatever your goal or dream was, did you attain it? Again, this is not about life-taking risk, it is about the attainment of a life-goal or goals by training your mind to think in a different way. It is about creating new neural pathways, counteracting your old mind-set. Every time you make a compromise, your mind becomes trained to accept that compromise. The most successful people have lived their lives making very little compromise in the attainment of their goals.

Attaining your goals does not mean hurting those around you or those you encounter along the way. It can be as simple as taking a walk. The speaker told of his ups and downs with weight over the years and as he approached forty he was quite over-weight. He set his mind(notice I didnt say"vowed") to walk for an hour every day. He stuck with it through whatever came his way. If that meant that he had to walk at midnight or 1 am, that's what he did, but he did it every day. In his first last year of life, he lost 40 pounds. He ate half in whatever portion of food he would normally eat, not just diet food. Oh and he drank a lot of water. Other than that, he stuck with his plan and attained that goal. He then set a plan for his home and then his business and eventually attained them as well. All of this was made possible by setting his mind to the tune of "This is my last year on this earth. I have 365 days left and "this" is what I must do."

Can you do it? Will you compromise? Will you even pick a goal and start? That is up to you. The speaker put it like this: If you continually live in a certain way, regardless of whether you dont like it and want to change it, that is the life you WANT to lead. If you didnt want to live like that, you would resolve to change it. Half-hearted attempts dont count. You started______, and then quit. You didnt really WANT to change it.

It's not about taking big steps, either. It's about taking what you're comfortable with. If you can only take baby steps, that's okay. You want a better job? Find a way to sacrifice the time and money to get an education, re-education or further instruction to that end. Well, that's a bit step. How about cutting your portions in half if you want to lose weight? That's both easy and hard. You can pretty much eat normally, just look at what you're about to eat and only eat half or use a smaller plate.

Adjust your steps and STICK WITH THEM! Remember: DONT COMPROMISE!! If you decide to walk a half hour or hour every day, find a way to do it, even when the weather's crappy. Marriage or relationship problems? Resolve to TALK every day for a set amount of time. Turn the t.v. off for the set period and TALK to each other. You'll be surprised how many relationship problems can be resolved just by talking it out and not judging each other's HONEST answers.

Oh, before I forget: Keep a log or journal of positive things you do each day. It can be as simple as writing a small bit on a calendar, but write something each day. Keeping even a small log can be beneficial to your psyche. Only put positive things down even if it's "got all the housework done" or "cleaned out one of the junk boxes" or "read _____ book/manual for self-help/education/fun". STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!! You can accomplish your goals if you dont compromise, dont quit and believe you can do it. How bad do you want it?

As a final excercise, If you feel like it, leave a comment and tell me what your goal would be if you only had a year to live. Wake up tomorrow and tell yourself this is the last Friday, January 22 that I'll ever see. It's not depressing, after you have resolved yourself that your time is short and therefore valuable, you will become more motivated, more driven, to attain your goals. Start with one goal in mind and when you accomplish it-celebrate yourself. You can use this method with everything in your life. Again, if you can, leave me a comment and let me know what you are going to start with. Roz and I are going to walk, whether indoors or out, for a half hour(for now, maybe more next week) and we will half our portions at mealtime. Good luck and remember we are here to support each other!!!

72 I'm Up in the Air About You

It took me a long time today to figure out if I wanted to relate my story of mystery, wonder and confusion to you. What I am about to tell you is for you to decide whether or not it was innocent confusion or a wondrous oddity. Confused? Not half as much as I was.

Approximately 15 years ago, in the early morning hours, I was walking up a hill here in Kingwood. At a certain elevation you can overlook the main part of town, from the old Exxon toward the mall. Beyond that is Caddell, the river and Camp Dawson. It was about 530 or 6 in the morning and as I looked at the view, feeling quite serene, I noticed movement above me. I saw above me at approximately 500 feet, a decent sized fireball with a tail, waving somewhat like the way a fish swims. I stood in awe, thinking how badly I wished I had a camera( no cell phones in those days, remember?) and then it hit me: this thing wasnt really moving that fast. It seemed not much faster than a speeding car and if it was a meteorite, you would think it would be moving pretty fast.

AS I stared in wonder and a little fear, the fireball descended toward the mountain on the other side of the river. I could see the mountain silhouetted behind the fireball and I became quite excited that I was going to witness an actual meteorite impact. Judging by the distance when it appeared above me and the clarity with which I observed it, I would say it was roughly the size of a car. I am NO astronomer, but something that big impacting even the mile or two away from me was going to explode with a decent amount of force. My intention was to watch the impact for posterity(and the story rights). As it descended, I could see the glow as it disappeared below the tree line past my field of view, which ended around the mall. A quick second went by and at an almost blinding speed, the fireball reappeared, shooting up at a very steep angle, still moving east and was soon out of sight.

You dont have to believe me, and for the record, I never said it was a UFO, not then, not now. I just know what I saw. It shook me then and I still get a chill now, wondering what it was and what could have happened. Was it a near-Tunguska like meteor? Could it have had some thermal property that caused it to "bounce" out of our atmosphere? Was it some weapon I had never seen when I was IN the military? Was it something else?

I went home and for a while(quite a while) I never told a soul. Just as some of you are sitting there thinking I'm nuts, I didnt want others ridiculing me. I have witnessed 2 other incidents, one was very similar to this one and was near the same area a couple years later. The other was witnessed around 2003 or 4. Half of Kingwood reported it. We heard it on the scanner and my family was with me, along with others when we witnessed it.

We heard reports of a helicopter crash, oddly enough, in the direction of the aforementioned object. We piled in the van and drove to Maplewood Cemetery, went to the highest point and looked out over the valley. We saw the lights flitting around the hill and at one point they went into the trees. For about half an hour we watched what could only have been search vehicles driving back and forth. I know, they had already reported the crash, right? I'm just telling what we saw. There were many reports that night of the craft going down into the tree line and a couple days later there was a story in the paper reporting that nothing was found. The article did mention that there were numerous calls reporting the event. I really doubt that dozens of people hallucinated some kind of craft going into the trees, all of them saying it crashed in the same spot.

Now, all this being said, I think by now you all know I have a pretty open mind. I firmly believe that the universe is too vast not to contain intelligent life of some kind. It may not be as advanced as us, it may be infinitely moreso. Do I think they have visited us? I'm not sure. I believe there have been civilizations with great technological advancements right here on this planet. I think numerous times over many, many eons there have been rises and falls in our development. Enough time will erase just about any trace of our current civilization, it could have happened before. While it IS possible that a far-advanced race could have developed the technology to travel to the farthest reaches of space, I cannot say definitively that what I have witnessed was a result of such.

I would like to say that the event I witnessed alone was in some ways scary and in some ways it was inspiring and wondrous. It was a bit frightening, thinking that there could have been a natural disaster of potentially huge proportions and yet, after it streaked away, I realized that I had witnessed an event that few see and even fewer are believed of. I really dont care what you believe as far as UFO's or other intelligence, and you dont have to believe whether or not A.- I actually witnessed it or B.- that it could have been something either not from this earth or something long hidden. The first event stirred something in me and set me on a path to personal realization. It became profound over time and self-introspection.

I frequently listen to late-night talk radio and there are occasionally guests that come on saying they were abducted, poked, probed, bred, abused and sometimes communicated with about some ethereal, higher goal. Most of these people are freaks. You can tell if you listen to the timber of their voice, the conviction or lack of and many times, the details that sound too manufactured, too specific. I only told 3 people about this until now. I did not see anything in the way of little green men, little gray men or tall nordic looking humanoids. I didnt see a definitive craft. The fiery tail of the ball DID move in an odd manner, as I said before. It moved, undulating back and forth much the same as a large fish would swim (lazily). That and the whole-moving-slow-in-a-downward-arc-and-then-shooting-off-at-a-high-speed-at-almost-a-90degree-angle thing. Yeah. That would do it.

If you have ever witnessed anything like this, did you or would you relate it to anyone else? I felt almost violated because I knew many wouldnt believe me, even if I understated it.

So there we are. I gave you what I had. You make of it what you will and judge me if you must. I know what I saw, I know how I felt and I know what it did to the way I have looked at the world every day since. It didnt change how I feel about my concept of God and spirituality, but it did change how I viewed the world and how we react to one another-across political, racial and religious lines.

Regardless of whether you think I mis-understood what I saw, hallucinated or whatever, it still changed me. I like to think I grew as a person from it and it helped provoke me to expand my mind. I still, to this day, wish that it had been more like Close Encounters or ET. Hell, I'd settle for Spaceballs....

71 I Haiti it When the Rains Come

At the risk of alienating many of you, I am going to talk a little this morning about our "relief effort" that is going on a little to the south. First, let me say that I understand when a disaster happens, the people that usually suffer the most are the weak, the hurt or sick, the young and the old, the people that generally are just trying to live their lives.

When something bad happens, those with the means, i.e.: no major injuries, guns, knives, machetes, clubs and the ability to pick up something to smash someone or something, usually turn rather quickly to a pack mentality. Not the wolf-pack mentality mind you, more like a pack of wild dogs falling on anything that crosses their path, devouring it and moving on to consume the next thing they find, unmindful of anyone or anything else. You may have seen the news footage of the airdrops. People (young, healthy-looking males) running out to rifle through the crates and bags that were dropped. How much of that food and supplies do you suppose they shared with those that really needed it? Those people running out to get the drops were probably able to get by for a while without the stuff. Do you suppose they went to the old folks home that was a mile from the airport to help the people there that havent eaten since the quake? Did they go to the orphanage to help the babies that are lying on the back of a truck and have been for almost a week? With no formula, no water, no diapers? I think not. I'm sure there are already folks hoarding the supplies and selling them for whatever they can.

We saw something similar and just as convoluted, just as despicable during Katrina. Lack of aid, lack of co-ordination, lack of man-power in time. Thousands have died, possibly numbering in the hundreds of thousands and only now is our government really making a concerted effort to even think about bringing some co-ordination to the relief. Regardless of our current financial situation, we should be bringing our full weight to bear in the rescue, relief and recovery in Haiti. Our might as a world-leading nation carries a responsibility. It is a responsibility that was not met during Katrina and it is being wasted and half-assed now.

I have beat this dead horse before: the majority of government and the majority of sheeple handed our former "leader" a blank check when the country draped itself in a flag, stood on a righteous, high-horse and swore to the world that a couple thousand dead would be avenged and terror would be warred upon. Along came Katrina and our 2-front military was nowhere to be seen, until many were dead or violated by human jackals. Vermin always emerge during disaster and crisis and prey on the weak. We should not see near as much of it in our country as some third-world country, but it was bad here: remember the nursing home staff that left its charges to die? Remember the bodies floating in the streets while vultures looted stores and homes?

Trust me, it's going on in Haiti right now. They just dont have as much to steal, compared to us. Our useless wars have drained resources for 8 years. If you want to fight terror, fight for the rights of those that are being terrorized now. People in the middle east have been killing each other for thousands of years. They will continue to do so even after the collapse of society. They dont know any other way. Their governments are inept at best, and corrupted. If it wasnt the taliban killing and stealing from their own people it would be and probably is, the government. Iraq is no better. We do have a certain responsibility to protect the weak in those places, but when our country needs its resources(cash) and people such as the victims in Haiti need us, we are forced to watch as relief is late coming and half-assed when it does.

I know some of you dont see any difference between the oppressed in middle-eastern countries and victims of a natural disaster, but I think there is a marked difference. The populace of those repressed and oppressed places could rise up and help themselves, much as we did a couple hundred years ago when a greedy government oppressed us too much and stole from us too long. The victims of this earthquake have no means to help themselves. Greed and hatred, lawlessness and evil have long gripped Haiti. It will be worse now.

We have seen selfless doctors trying to save lives and volunteers trying to find the hurt and dying. A full-scale military relief effort, put into place a day or two after the quake could have saved many lives already. Nope. We sit on our laurels, throw some boxes out the back of a plane and watch civilian help trickle in and put out their most valiant effort at aid in a chaotic situation. I was aggravated at first about people asking for donations for them, basing this on my frustration of the travesty of Katrina, but now-I think the National Guard and Reserves should have already been sent in. Search and rescue teams(military) should have been out and rendering aid and stations should have been set up to document the victims and distribute aid accordingly.

I would ask you to help as you can, but most of America is reeling from economic woes. We have already spent money our grandchildren wont even be able to pay back and sending money to a place most of us have never been seems akin to wadding up your next paycheck and throwing it in the nearest ditch. Our government has the resources, just not the leadership and decision-making ability. I think we're lucky they tie their shoes and zip their flies in the morning. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families.

70 Doh!

Now that the temps are creeping back up, albeit temporarily, I feel I can let off a little steam about our wonderful cleanup crews. Oh, you say you only saw them down your road once or twice? Why, you must be mistaken. The state of West Virginia had a budget of over $500 million for this winter. They claimed with the FIRST storm that they spent over 50 million. I suppose with overtime and enough guys watching the few truck drivers that they DO have, fuel and incidentals, they may have actually spent that much. What I'm sure they didnt spend it on was cinders.

A little birdie told me that the stockpile for Kingwood was leftovers from last year and that they hadnt ordered more because they didnt foresee any worse weather than last year. Ok. Where is the money that is alotted for this year's salt/cinders? Why is it that when they do finally get around to plowing a road, there are rarely cinders applied? Dont tell me " they cindered MY road. I dont know what you're talking about." I dont know how many back roads I was on in the last month that when they WERE plowed, it was usually one lane. Yes, it was still snowing and I suppose we should be grateful that they plowed SOMETHING, but if you go DOWN a road, do you not come back UP it? And spread the damned cinders. People do eventually have to go out for whatever reasons: doctor, groceries(it was a 2 or 3 week storm), boredom (we dont want people killing each other because they're stuck together in the house, right?).

I still say that when we were kids and inflation hadnt caused the rampant upswing in costs for men and material, they put cinders down on just about everything they plowed, even if they came back in a couple hours and plowed it again. Simpler times and people still had some simblance of values and respect. I think it may be as simple as that. They knew people either had to or were going to drive on the snowy, icy roads, so they laid down some grit for traction.

I know the state road has usually gotten a bad rap over the years, but for crying out loud, at least make a show of it: WE'RE paying the tab, use the equipment! This past summer, Roz and I were out taking a drive and we went down a back or "secondary" road, we came upon a crew of guys patching potholes. There were 2 guys shovelling patch, one on a roller, one driving the asphalt truck and about 3 standing around watching, one of which appeared to be a supervisor. He was the clean one, in a nice looking, clean uniform. I shouldnt have to paint any more on this picture. We have all seen it.

Okay, I will give them this: it was a blizzard and it was a long one. What I cant abide is that we pay the tab as taxpayers and they seem to be squandering our money somewhere, but surely not at our most desperate hour. Should we be asking someone higher up in the heirarchy why they didnt spend this year's alotted amount on cinders? Last year there was an article in the Dominion Post about the shortage of drivers. Wait, QUALIFIED drivers, to fill the trucks that we all see sitting there. The NEW trucks that seem to appear every couple years. You know, the ones sitting beside the NEW backhoes and such that are there every couple years? Okay, so maybe we're short a few drivers that are capable of running a plow truck. Still, when they do get around to plowing a given road, wouldnt that warrant cindering the crap out of it so they didnt have to come back as soon? or COULDNT come back as soon?

Our facebook friend Sharon Grimes had to wait several days to get her road plowed, and trust me, she lives on one of those BFE roads. She had to make calls and the guy said (paraphrasing) "sucks to be you". He basically said it was her fault for living where she does. Yes, you choose where you live, but she does live on a state maintained road, it's not like she was asking to have her driveway plowed. The Grimes' needed fuel oil delivered and it is understandable that after several days of the delivery guy waiting for the road to get plowed, she was getting ansy. Wouldnt you? What compassion that man showed for a family in need. A family waiting on something important, it's not like they were waiting for the ups man to delivery a new x-box or something. His words have now caused another rift in the community between us and an already poorly-perceived public service. You know? The three guys leaning on a shovel and one working kinda public service? Oh. Right. I already saw that.

I heard tales from a lot of our facebook friends about not getting plowed out for days and I have tried not to be totally negative about the service that we DO have. I'm sure the drivers that we do have, do as much as they can and they more than likely have orders from higher-up(at least locally higher up) about using their fuel and their cinders sparingly. I'm sure it wouldnt have anything to do with BONUSES or anything like that. Right? Surely they dont get BONUSES based on work or time? I wonder if they need a levy or something to be able to NOT skimp on material and men? I'm being a smart-ass because I know that's not how it works, but boy it feels good to be a smart-ass right now.

I usually try to look for a compromise in most of the situations I cover, but I fear there is none here. BIG GUBMENT will do as they please, as usual. Local corruption(yes, I think that's what it amounts to) will control what service we receive and when we receive it. I think on one level, we should be grateful that we get the service at all, but on another, for the taxes we pay(check your WV pay stub) should we not get service based on need? There are about a dozen or so mountainous northern counties that habitually get worse weather(on average) than most of the rest of the state combined. Should Preston or Pocahontas or Tucker counties not get bigger stockpiles of (winter) supplies? It's not like they go bad. Okay, so they didnt use all their cinders from last year, fine. Where did the money go for this year's cinders? Maybe they should have bought half again the amount and then thought about re-allocating what was left.

So, what can we expect next year? What does the Farmer's Almanac have to say? I believe it called this winter as a worse-than-average one. Maybe they should pay more attention to the Almanac than the National Weather Service. I would reference, before I go, surrounding states' tax structure: Maryland-drive to Oakland and look at the difference, Pa-again, take a drive and look. You cant OH-MY-GOD mention raising taxes here because people lose their freaking minds. I would pose to you that small increases provide much-needed revenue (for what, who knows?) BUT, infrastructure brings JOBS people! We get better roads, better service in the winter and businesses become more likely to settle here.

I'm still pissed about the roads NOW, dont get me wrong. You and I deserve better. Accountability is a big word and maybe it should be examined a little closer, even here in Podunk, USA.

69 Voodoo

As I sit here this morning pondering the pending destruction of "The Tonight Show" and maybe late-night NBC itself, it occurs to me that I really dont care. I have bigger fish to fry. I have spent a lifetime listening to, talking to and caring about the half of the species that controls birthing, bra sales and credit card debt.

Before we begin discussing the creature known as "woman", let us first take a brief look at "man" : We want sex, food, tv, sex, cars, guns, sex, alcohol, boobies, sex and power tools. 'Nuff said.

What? You expect more from us? I already told you what motivates us. Every noble and pathetic emotion emitted from us is directly related to one or more of the above reasons.

Women desire some of the same things possibly without the boobies and power tools, but nonetheless, every scheming, conniving, coy thing that is uttered from your mouths is derived from the need to control HOW these things are obtained. I believe for you it is in the HOW and the WHY, not the WHAT. I have known women(not all in the Biblical sense) from every walk of life. From millionaire to pauper, they ALL had the desire to control and manipulate. I have noticed this to be especially true in the married of the species. There are exceptions, but we will be discussing the majority, not the minority.

From birth "Daddy's girls" are encouraged to be fiery and demanding and independent. Ok, I get that, it's cute when a 3 year old can tell her Daddy she wants a blue rhinocerous and consequently, she gets it. It may be an over-sized stuffed animal or a mural in the bedroom, but I bet more often than not, she'll get what she wants. The problem arises down the road when she tells her husband she wants wine and roses every day, the bigger-better-deal and the moon on a lasso. Oh, you may not say it in so many words, but you know you do it. You know just how to push his buttons and eventually, after the grousing, fumbling and cursing, you know to some extent you will manipulate him to get to your end goal.

Men and women both love to control whatever given situation they're in, but I think women for the most part are more desiring, more passionate of the position. Ideal work situations dont exist. We wish they did, but they dont. If you work under someone directly, you usually dont abide by all their ideas and often they are cursed(under your breath). Personally, I dont care if it's male or female that I take orders from, so long as they're fair and accurate. I have worked with many guys that resent working under a woman because they consider them "lesser". The psyche goes back to our primal beginnings and for the sake of space, let's just say that the male of the species developed bigger frames, muscles and math ability to protect and provide for the half of the species that birthed children and grew boobs, not moobs. Men resenting women in a position of obvious power is NOT our fault. It is a matter of nature and genetics. Again, I dont have a problem with it, but I know many do.

Lacking physical ability, the primevial female used her wiles to get more leg-of-stag. "Grog go get BIGGER stag and me will NOT hit him with rock while he sleep". Sound familiar guys? Yep, they havent changed in tens of thousands of years. Seriously? You women say you dont do that? You've never offered your man something "special" in exchange for getting a task done or buying some this-or-that? Huh. I must be mistaken. Anyway...

Our superior math skills enable us to keep track of spending, number the animals in a herd, guess cup sizes, add inches to things and subtract containers from actual-beer-drank. Yours allows you to keep track of how much moolah is left on the credit card, how many minutes are on your cell phone and how many other women we have "ogled" out of the corner of our eye. And just for the record: We want to look at boobs. It is not out of disrespect for you, or not loving you or caring about you, we just like to see those wonderful sweater puppets, extra pillows, funbags or whatever you call them. It takes a lot of self-control for a guy to look you in the eye, especially if you have a nice rack.

Women tend to be more emotional. This includes loving, nurturing, caring, stressed, grouchy, obstinate, jealous and worried. Men get angry if the remote doesnt work, we get stressed over idiots at work and we get hungry and horny. There you are. We dont care about your pms until it interferes with our 3 F's. Feeding, fighting and fornicating. Guys do tend to be callous and uncaring about what you're feeling because after we've been around you for more than one or two cycles, we become desensitized. Fights and arguments start from our lack of compassion for your dire situation. Some guys tend to be more callous than others.(these are probably the divorced ones) Women should probably be relieved from duty one week a month and confined to a spa or other place of comfort until their emotions and bodily functions return to normal. Things would go so much more smoothly.

Look, I know you would all like your man to help. Help with the kids, the clothes, the dishes, the cleaning, the bills, whatever the task of the moment is. Guys like to do one thing at a time for the most part, women tend to multi-task. In our minds, our job is our job. I have seen many a marriage fall apart because the working Mom and Wife has to do her Job and her home job. Again, blame our distant ancestors. The men went hunting and built shelters, the women reared children, cleaned the cave, gathered the fruits, nuts and vegetation that kept men's colons from completely shutting down AND they dealt with the in-laws. "yes, mother ugrak, no, mother ugrak".

Guys tend to be loving, caring and romantic until they have you as either a girlfriend or wife. After that conquest, we tend to pull back and begin acquiring "stuff". House, vehicles, tools, toys, etc. are on the agenda most of the time. This is where you come in. WE want a bachelor pad, not pink, yellow, fuscia, tuscan, toille or earth-toned stuff. WE want the roar of an engine and the feel of a Hearst floor shifter, not a Nissan Altima or a bow-tie nightmare of a family vehicle. We want to watch shows with guns and boobs and cars, not tissue holding, weeping, intrigue-filled, love matches that usually contain housewives, sexy doctors or Matthew McCona-gay.

Dont get me wrong, I have all the respect in the world for Roz and her fellow ovary-carriers. You all tend to keep us on the straight and narrow(most cases) and you allow us to posture in front of our friends while we wear the apron at home. For God's sake, give your man a little dignity, though. Dont ask him to go get your feminine products unless it's a dire emergency and dont talk him down in front of his friends(unless he's being an ass). Wait, that's most of the time, right? See, I pay attention.

68 Noxema, Lasers and Ebay Liver

As I turned the corner to 40 a few months back, I had many well-wishers welcoming me to "the club" and asking me if I felt old now. I know I'm a bit chatty sometimes :), but I would not be doing my age justice if I didnt expound on this subject.

When we were kids, someone that was 25 was "old". As we approached 20 or 25, someone that was 40 was old and if you look back or talk to a previous generation, 45 was "over the hill". In developed nations, life expectancy has increased greatly over the last 100 years or so and is approaching an average of about 80. Barring cancer, war, car wrecks and jealous husbands, most of us will see that age and more. When our average life expectancy was around 65, of course 45 would seem over the hill. We are expected by the IRS to work until around age 67 to be able to collect any social security and if you havent noticed, there are a lot of gray-hairs working well into their 60's and 70's. Back to the horrid age of 40. I have been told by various news articles, magazines, blogs and tv shows that at the age of 40 I am supposed to feel my body start slowing down and the aches and pains of old age are supposed to kick in. Yes, its true that aches, pains and injuries do linger a bit longer, but by this age, we've pushed ourselves to the limit in various pursuits and we probably havent taken as good care of our bodies as we should.

My blog and my excercise program have been on hiatus for a couple months now, but that is changing. I've all but given up fast food except for the occasional Subway sammich and once in a while you just have to have a grease burger for the nostalgia. Roz and I have an excercise program, while not intense as it could be, is a good start for working parents that have spent the last 18 yrs raising kids. That being said, with our better eating habits being implemented, I hope to increase our personal life expectancy by at least a few years.

The medical, pharmaceutical and cleaning advances that post-industrial society have invented and implemented have contributed greatly to our potential longevity, but how far does it go? Listening to a talk-show guest on late night radio, the next generation can look forward to potentially seeing 120 or maybe even 150. What does that mean? It means that to have a "quality of life" past what we now see in decline from 65 and up, we will be in the workforce longer, we will have to be staying fit and active longer and we will potentially be raising families at much higher ages as opposed to the 20 to 40 somethings raising kids.

I see a world where it is not uncommon for a 70 year old to run a marathon with a 30 year old, an 80 year old still goes on skiing and hiking trips and even up to the age of 90 or so, we could still hold a conversation without sounding like we're stuck in an infinite-loop. Wait, that happens now, right? Seriously, I think down the road, it will not be surprising to see people approaching 100 and still be working and doing activities that require some physical exertion.

OK, I have to say it, remember when your Grandma or maybe your Mom used to "put her face on" at night? I remember my Grandmother always had to have a jar of something or the other in the bathroom to keep her skin "looking young". We frequently see people both in real-life and on tv (even without the tv makeup) that look much younger than their actual age. Before I put this weight on, I was mistaken in my 30's for being in my lower to mid 20's. wink, wink, ha , yes, I'm gloating, but trust me, it doesnt happen as much anymore. Maybe when I'm all svelt again...sigh. Ha. Anywhoo- on average, most folks with a little will and a little luck are looking, feeling and acting younger compared to the average of a generation or two ago. I think by the time my fellow 40 somethings are ready to retire, science will have slowed aging with gene therapy, pills, potions and again, a little luck.

I foresee us leading viable lives and relationships for much more than our current average. We may go back to school several times to be able to change careers, not always through necessity like the current meltdown, but because of, well, boredom. We could possibly have 3 or 4 careers over the course of a lifetime that by current standards entail a full 20 or 30 year maturation of both the career and the retirement plan for said job. I like to give my Grandad as an example. Although he doesnt fit into the coming generation(that and he's deceased), he worked for over 30 years for the railroad, put in 20 something as an auto mechanic and then retired. He got bored, went back to work for several more years, retired again and then worked for a while as a host on an excursion train. He partied quite hard most of his life, smoked cigars, drank like a fish, had lots of "friends" (sorry Granny) and still managed to live til he was almost 84. Up until he was 80, he still pretty much kept up with me. I think this will be the standard in another generation, not the exception.

I know you're wondering about the rest of the title of this rant. I figured the laser treatments that they use on skin blemishes and now even to reduce the effects of aging on skin warranted a mention and the othr? Well, remember that guy that tried to sell his liver on e-bay? Or was it a kidney? Oh well, I think very soon, they will grow whatever part you need in a lab, transplant it and you'll be well on your way to abusing your body not long after your malady or injury has occured. Remember Dolly the sheep? What about the ear on the mouse?

Looking back, I and probably you, wish I had been better to my body. We figured it is never too late and I look forward to being back in my 20's shape, although I dont expect to look exactly like that again. What's a little pudge? I figure as long as we can enjoy ourselves and be healthy and happy, a few extra pounds are not that big a deal. Whatever you take away from todays posting, just keep in mind that Hollyweird and most magazines STILL continually put up unreal expectations for our body-image. If you feel good, no major troubles and you're healthy, who cares? Not everyone is a size 2 or 32 if you're a guy. Vanity, thy name is woman.