121 Appreciation, Affectation, Allocation

I suppose we're all entitled to a meltdown now and then. I've been having one over all this blogging business. It's such an odd feeling: loving something, but at the same time being disheartened by it. I've written 121 blogs on every subject imaginable and believe me, I still have a few left in me. I dont know why, but lately, I've felt like I was pounding my head against a wall. It's not about blame, it's just that I used to LOVE getting comments from all of you and lately, there's rarely a response. I know, a newspaper rarely has comments, at least that they print in the opinion section, but I still had this overwhelming sense of futility.

Without some feedback, I wasnt sure if A- you were reading the stuff and 2- you liked what I said or had another opinion. So, due to your recent comments, I will continue posting as the mood and the news strikes me.

It would be unfair to say that I blog for you. That is a partial truth. I blog(as some of you are soooooo aware, I post it enough) because it is cathartic for me. I get a sense of satisfaction, spewing my own personal brand of opinion on the news-flavor of the day. We covered such base subjects in the beginning: Margaret Thatcher's ass, Smurf-killing, Car choices. Lately, I seem to be more melancholy: war, taxes, death, war, politicians, big business.... I'm sure we'll revisit a lot of them as we go on, the choice is yours and mine together.

I frequently ask for opinions and the recurring theme from those of you who respond is usually family, namely kids and their problems and occasionally people being pissed off at some service or another. I DO like berating business and industry, pharma, politicians, deadbeat dads and deficient garbage men, but I'd really like to find some new material. That was part of the problem too: I felt stale, like I didnt have many fresh ideas. Not to worry, I think revisiting can have its benefits. I will definitely keep on with the current events section from the idiot news channels. We may have to do one on cultural diversity to make up for the mosque rant. I will stand by my opinions, but when I make a mistake, I am man enough to admit it, so PLEASE, let me know if you suspect that I havent gotten my point across well enough and DEFINITELY let me know if I have the facts wrong.

Believe it or not, I DO try to check my "facts" as presented by whatever source I've gotten them from. Confused yet? Not half as much as I am. I'm having trouble concentrating on this sentence, as Reebok has decided to show trim, young girls asses in various boy-shorts and bikinis, while NOT focusing on their shoes that they're trying to peddle. Wow. Kinda makes a guy hungry, you know? Anywhoo--

I'd like to make sure that you guys all know that I REALLY do appreciate your readership. Roz thinks it's all about the ego, but it's MORE than that. While one's ego must be stroked once in awhile, I found out rather quickly that when I write on a regular basis, my brain doesnt feel like it's ready for a meltdown. I USED to talk a lot, they say. I dont remember it. :0 I found that weaseling my way into a social gathering, injecting myself in the middle of a large group, telling old stories and giving views on current events, I could avoid a brain-over. That would be a hangover of useless, backed up info that caused pressure in my cerebro-spinal fluid and produced a burning, disorienting pain.

I discovered blogging through my "adopted" daughter, Rachel. She set up this very blog and after a couple test-firings on facebook notes, I was off and running. After a few postings, I felt the euphoria. I can honestly say, I've NEVER tried drugs, but this was as close as I can imagine. The stroked ego, lighter by leaps and bounds, was again powerful and youthful. Brain emptied on an almost daily basis, I found myself thinking harder and longer, not muddied, not confused by ketchup and catsup. Colors were clearer and brighter, sounds being heard with tones clearer and nuances detected as easily as a mother hearing her baby cry in the night....well, maybe I'm embellishing just a little, but I felt a joy from writing that hadnt been experienced for a long time. I wrote, pencil in hand, many years ago, but hadnt pursued it for quite a while. Dont think that I havent been happy, quite the contrary, I've had many wonders and joys over the years. This was just....different.

I suppose one would say this was the fulfillment of a calling. I say it is but one of many. It just happens that I like writing as much as I like talking. Most of us have joys that come in and out of our lives and though this is a big one for me, there are many others that I have yet to seek out, both with my family and within myself.

I will continue blogging, asking for requests and stirring the pot as long as you'll have me. Again, I cannot thank you enough, dear readers, for making one of MY dreams happen. I will never be an Ayn Raynd or even a Stephen King for that matter, but I would settle for being a lesser version of, say...John Stewart. Not Colbert, I think he's a pompous ass, full of himself in a way that overshadows the sarcastic humor he tries to bring. No, I would fancy that as I get older, I may even aspire to be a bit of Lewis Black or Dennis Miller. Wow, talk about ego....

120 Mosque of the Red Death

Wow. Talk about a "hot-button" issue. Our President has paved the way for the $100 million dollar, Cordoba mosque. The City of NY still has to go through its motions, voting by council to decide if the Muslims will be allowed to proceed. By LAW, there is no real issue to whether the mosque can legally be built. If they have the money and the city approves it, they CAN build a mosque. The question, then, is SHOULD they build it?

Last night, Roz asked me if the American public would welcome a Japanese Shrine, built in Pearl Harbor. Not 5 minutes after she said it, we heard Michael Savage(asshole talk radio host) say the same, exact thing. This is really a profound question. SHOULD a group(culture,religion,race, etc) attempt to establish a self-culturally-significant(my idiotic wording)foothold within or near an area that was in some way devastated by a part or the whole of their group?

To put it another way- how would the citizens of Nagasaki or Hiroshima feel if we were to put a shrine to U.S. WWII pilots at their ground zero? How would the Chinese react to a Japanese memorial to all of their fallen soldiers from WWII?

The people that are planning this mosque are demonstrating a GROSS disregard for the wound that was created by extremists of their faith. Or is there another reason? Is this a slap in the face? A shoe in the face, as it were? I have Muslim friends and they are nice enough people. They may have some customs that seem odd, but they have never demonstrated this kind of insensitivity. One of the talk radio idiots that I love to listen to said that they will be "laughing and smirking behind our backs" or in our face?

People being what they are, I havent heard anyone address the possiblity that the mosque, if completed, would be subjected to vandalism, protests or worse. Can you not see some home-grown terrorists trying to destroy it? I dont think that we should discount the possibility of a faction here feeling like maybe we should have an "eye for an eye".

If we were all rational and non-biased, we wouldnt be feeling animosity towards these folks. Has anyone checked to see if these particular devotees have or had any ties to any of the terrorists responsible for the WTC bombing or any known terrorists here or abroad? A rational person wouldnt blame these people for something someone else did. The fact remains that we feel animosity towards Muslims and middle-easterners. How many decades did we harbor anger at anyone of Japanese descent?

The question still remains- Should we, or they for that matter, allow this mosque to be built? I have to say NO. The wounds, though almost 10 years old, are still tender. There were people of many races and religions that died within a stones throw of what could potentially be a "safe" place for Muslims both devoted and distorted. When(and that is a seemingly HUGE when) the Freedom Towers are completed, how would YOU like to have an office facing a CONSTANT reminder that we have sent brothers and sisters, sons and daughters for almost 10 years to die at the hands of extremists of the very religion that is purportedly wanting this mosque to promote understanding and unity?

I was wrong on MANY counts about the abilities and intentions of our current president. I cannot fathom why he would in any way, shape or form, approve this mosque. There have been questions about his Muslim heritage, indeed, his very citizenship. Did he not consider that this may only WORSEN the public perception of his potentially being a "closet muslim"? As the ultimate representative of the AMERICAN PEOPLE, he CANNOT allow this to take place. There will be NOTHING good to come of it. Our resentment will only fester and there will be nothing but trouble on one or both sides. How many MORE fights must we be in? How many people will be hurt in the months and years to come? This will only build MORE resentment, cause MORE anger.

If we allow this mosque to be built at THIS location, we are doing a dis-service to the ones that died and are dying still. We are making a mockery of what it is to be an American. There SHOULD always be freedom of religion, but this is NOT about freedom of religion. This is about RESPECT. Respect for the dead, respect for people who are NOT pushing you and your unfamiliar religion OUT the door. Do you think that if we tried to build a Christian church in a predominantly Muslim country(Iraq, Iran, Syria, etc.) that the poor guy who mentioned it out loud there would still have his fingers and toes attached? They would cane and stone him and all his followers. Oh, thats right, Christianity is not allowed over there. There WOULDNT be another religion "over there" because ITS NOT ALLOWED!

If you are going to one noble thing in your life, e-mail your congressman and the White House, right now. Message someone else, or a bunch of someones and tell them to do it too. I have hoped that there was something I was missing. I hope I am wrong, but I dont think so.

119 Me, Me MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

How did you turn out? For that matter, how do you look at it? I feel like I'm a work in progress. Sometimes I get down, wondering why I wasnt a presidential candidate(work in progress w.i.p) or some famous writer or a lawyer or some such thing. How do we judge ourselves and by what standard?

Did your parents push you? Too hard? Too little? Did you want to be a stripper and wound up doing something you hate, like registered nurse? Did you want to be an architect or an engineer and instead you work in a factory making widgets? What's in a job, anyway? I wanted to be a soldier and a fireman and half a dozen other things when I was small. I managed to do both and a couple more for good measure. I've supervised people on several different levels in several different occupations and yet, deep down, I always wanted to be a writer.(for a paper or magazine) Small, local articles when I was in college, but alas, I had to wait 20 years and settle for facebook. Dont get me wrong, I like writing here. I can go at my own pace, post or not depending on whether I'm busy and the instant interaction is great.

I remember being encouraged to do whatever I wanted growing up. If I wanted to try taking a clock apart, fine. If I wanted to collect stamps, no problem. If I wanted to trade my infant sister for a tractor, well, that one didnt work out. True story, by the way. I've made it a habit to encourage our boys to excel at the things they want to try. It doesnt matter to me if they try a hundred things, I want them to get the experience for each endeavour and hopefully they'll take something away from them to be used somewhere down the road. Some parents urge their child to settle on one thing, master it and then apply it to the rest of their life. Nothing wrong with that, but I'm just not the kind of person that has the attention span for a lifetime of one thing. I DO tend to retain a lot of this and that, and it HAS come in handy over the years. Jack of all trades, master of none?

There is something to be said for a child picking up a vocation or a sport, mastering it and becoming Tiger Woods or Gloria Allred or to a lesser extent, Sarah Palin. The thing you have to keep in mind is that there are so many levels of society (professionals in sports/industry/teaching/etc, laborers, service, politics, you name it) that not everyone can be the best. We cant all be a PRO. There has to be people there to support the top and there are people behind them in one form or another supporting them and so on. I've told our boys that if they want to be (for example) a street sweeper, then do it right. All I ask of them beyond that is that they LIKE what they're doing. We've all seen parents who dont give their kids ANY kind of direction. There are the ones that will always drain our society, as well. I'm not going to apologize, we ALL know them. We see them feigning illness and injury to collect a check. We have seen the ones brought up in a welfare family and wind up being 2nd, 3d or fourth generation "reliefers". Unfortunately, there will always be that aspect of the bottom rungs, to include criminals of all levels. If they had had even half the parenting you did, how would they have turned out? If they would have had a mentor, even briefly, how would they be now?

I'll say it again: be happy with what you do. It all comes down to whether you like what you're doing and whether you can work with those around you. I dont think our kids making a vocation out of texting, messaging, or gaming qualifies. They cant(for the vast majority) rise to greatness or even self-fulfillment by perfecting texting.

I find myself being pridefull and harboring a secret hope that when Nick does well at football, he'll get a free ride to college, maybe go pro for a few years and then retire his parents. Yeah. Niiiicce. What? Oh, sorry. I was caught up there for a minute. It doesnt matter to me if it ever really happens, I'm allowed to hope. As long as he's doing good in school, playing well and enjoying himself, I feel we've done our job. Do you do that with the things your kids like? Have you maybe given a hint of direction or encouragement to a child not your own, one who you KNOW needed it?

As long as I dont guide another O.J. or Dick Cheney, I've done my job. If they live in a meager house, a modest one or a mansion, we've succeeded. If they raise a happy, healthy family, we were right. Dont judge your child by your accomplishments or accolades, let them get their own in their own way.

If they get rich, famous and still like you, you've REALLY won. Grandkids, cookouts and holidays that are happy and joyous are the rewards for what we sow now. We dont have to be the best at anything, we just need to bring that warm, fuzzy feeling that sounds cliche' as I write it, but when you get it, you know what you're doing is right. That may be the raspberry wine I'm sipping, but then again, maybe it's the keystrokes. meh... What's the difference? They both feel good.

118 Smokin In the Boyz Room

As Status-ville is about to start again, I mean, school, I feel I should say a few words about the things that most of us are feeling pain about right now...that and maybe a few other choice words.

Lets start with the obvious: school supplies. We used to buy into the notion that the kids had to have NEW everything. You had to have a new backpack, new writing stuff, new clothes and new shoes. NOW, we're of the mind, that if it's still ok, use it. We understand that small kids outgrow just about everything, seemingly, between the end of school one year and the start of the fall session.

With one child graduated, even though he's going to school in the fall, we basically have one left to buy for. We spent the summer scouring yard sales and flea markets and found a LOT of big-name, expensive clothes for pennies on the dollar. Mom traditionally let's them buy a pair of shoes that they want, so that takes care of a couple hundred bucks right there. If the backpack from last year isnt worn out, they use it. They have an aunt that buys them pencils, pens and paper, so we generally dont have to buy that stuff until mid-term. Why spend crazy amounts of money on clothes? I know, I dont have girls. Still, that's no excuse. Most of the ones that we know would be tickled to come across something cute and cheap at a yard sale or something and wouldnt mind at ALL if it's big-name, high-dollar stuff. Yes, there are a few picky ones who wont wear "used". That's the parents' fault. You spoiled 'em, you suffer with it or put your foot down.

Why spend money that most of the average population could use on other, frivolous things like electric, cable, heat, food or that holy-of-holies-that-no-one-can-live-without: cell phone bills? It's one thing to want your family to have nice things, it's quite another to have enough sense to live within your means.

There's another thing: if you cant afford it, dont give in. How dumb do you have to be? We've been fortunate enough to be able to give the boys phones and we have a pretty good plan, but I know some parents that really cant afford it, but they do it anyway. DUH. Anyone that would look down on you or your kids for not having something like that wasnt really much of a friend anyway. Common sense people!

So, now that we've outfitted the kiddies with all the stuff they need, we need to wonder what example we set for them. Oh. Right. Doesnt matter. They're all individuals and they get their life examples from the kids around them and the teachers. (mostly) So when they see people playing favorites and hanging in their little "cliques", they will be sure to carry it on into their adult lives. People playing favorites in class, clubs, sports and friendships: it just goes on and on and on. It never changes. How many times have you seen a kid get to participate in whatever and he/she really had no business being in the lead, being in charge or some such? Get mad at me if you want, it happens all the time. It happened when we were in school and it happens now.

Some talented children get shoved aside, literally and figuratively, over the years and their talent is either squandered or doesnt get utilized until they leave the area. I KNOW you have all seen it, many of us have been there. My leading example when talking among friends is usually the "kid whose parent(s) are so-and-so and why the heck is he/she the star/captain/whatever when "that kid" has much more talent? I'm trying to be vague so as not to totally piss off so-and-so, but I am CONFIDENT that you've all experienced this either in your high school life or your kids.

So, they learn that good looks, the right pocketbook and the right friends will usually get you farther than talent and hard work. Yes, maybe I'm exaggerating the ratio a bit, but it's just to drive home the point.

There's always hope. They will someday face the real world of bills, bills, bills and more bills, kids, bosses and deciding between catsup and ketchup. They will look back and wonder "what was I thinking?". For some, it will be too late, others will succeed. That's just the way of the world. I REALLY, REALLY hate that phrase. I usually find a way to make the world fit me, not the other way around. I despise the attitude that we cant change it, so why fight it.

You have to walk a fine line when taking a child to task. On one hand, a little bit of positive attitude will help them along through life, but on the other, they may wind up being that rude child that you'd like to punch in the face. You know the one: they speak to their parents in public in ways that would have gotten my teeth knocked out, or they become vindictive little bitches that cause some mousey, introverted girl's life to be a living hell. Worse, they become the slacker, backwards-hat-wearing punk that will have about as much use in society as a beta tape player. You decide what you want: well-rounded with a little humility or pants-around-the-knees, cigarrette-in-their-mouth little punk that I'd like to hit in the face with a shovel.

The vast majority of you have raised wonderful children and should all be commended. Those of you that we know have great kids that know right from wrong and have some compassion for their fellow man. I dont mean to make the future sound so bleak for the kids, but even one instance of these behaviours drives me up the wall. I know the world's not perfect, but it could be a pretty decent place to live if we'd start with kids learning better habits, not allowing them free reign because you dont feel like dealing with it.

So, let's just clarify this before I go: I did NOT give you permission to back-hand every smart-mouthed punk you see. You CAN, however, bitch slap their parents if they've become lazy and complacent in their child-rearing and truly deserve it. On second thought, maybe the little punks need back-handed too. Nah, better not, it's not worth going to jail over. Just remind them where they're headed and that you know what their PARENTS did when THEY were in high school. That might backfire a little if YOU werent on your A-game, but it might make you feel a little better. It feels like a no-win situation and it probably is. That doesnt mean we have to abide by it.

Talking to parents leads to the I'm-wrong-but-I'm-going-to-be-loud-and-defensive stance or outright physical violence. Ostracizing the child will just reinforce a negative and they dont need that. They need a wake up call that doesnt involve drugs, booze, an unexpected child or a much-deserved ass beating. Oh wait, that comes from good parenting, doesnt it? Sorry junior, you're out of luck. Mom and Dad dont intrude in your life by asking who, what, when, where and how every time they see you. (trust me, Roz does it enough for both of us and I'm sure many of you readers do as well).

Whether you're willing to admit it or not, if your child act like a priveledged, spoiled little brat, you should look to yourself for answers. Dont blame everyone else, YOU did it(more often than not) and YOU have to find a way into their hearts and minds to ensure they dont go through life causing misery and mayhem.

As for the favoritism that is found in so many aspects of high school, stop it. Currying favor with the rich parents by putting their child first? For shame. You have given in to your baser emotions. Let's clarify one more time: I'm not talking about a child with real talent. I'm talking about the kids that get preference when they dont have enough talent to fry eggs, yet there they are, playing in a position of importance in a sport or getting some perk of a club or class. Any child with talent in ANY area should be encouraged to use it.

If you catch one of my boys behaving inappropriately, let me or Roz know. Then I'LL let THEM know. We have tried to tell them to play/study their hardest and offer a hand to those who are down. NONE of us do this ALL the time, but we know we SHOULD. Is it really too hard for all parents to show this to their kids? How about showing it to other kids that dont have a caring family member/friend? You can instill something great in a child not your own, through tact and genuinely caring attitudes. You dont have to be specific, just give helpful hints, be brief, make yourself available if they need it and above all, be genuine. You'd be surprised what five minutes would do for a kid that only knows directing anger and frustration through "lesser" means.

OH, this doesnt give you permission to punch certain parents/teachers/coaches in the mouth, but if you DO, call me in enough time for me to get there so I can watch...

117 President DeWitt

My fellow Americans: I would like to announce my intention to run for the previously exhalted and formerly respected office of President of the United States. In the following paragraphs, I will outline my plan for reformation of the Grand Republic.

First, we will start with a total overhaul of all public schools. Those that are of sound academics and finance will be given the options of the rest of the schools, but we will not meddle where it is not needed. The rest will receive priority funding for academic programs and maintainance/construction to bring them up to par. There can be no greater priority than educating the next generation.

Second, we will enforce existing laws in all sectors. Immediate priority will be given to drugs and illegal immigration. I for one, cannot fathom why, when I pass by a construction or road crew, my immediate suspicion is that the majority of the workers are probably illegal immigrants working for substandard wages. Americans need work, companies will NOT profit from cheap, illegal labor while I am in office.

Approximately 10 percent of all U.S. troops stationed in Non-Critical bases around the world will be recalled. A new unit designated as border control will be stationed along our southern border to ensure to the utmost that drugs and illegal immigration are stopped. The so-called "war on drugs" has failed miserably. We have spent billions over the last 25 years and have not stemmed the tide. Marijuana and some other drugs should be legalized and imbued with the same standards of enforcement as alcohol. Some European countries have already done this and are utilizing "free centers" for users. While this may sound extreme, they have all but eliminated the ellicit trade. Countless people in third world countries suffer because of the production and trade of illicit drugs. Legalization has been proven to ease the suffering and would also open marijuana to taxation, just the same as tobacco. Much of the illegal entry along the Mexican border would cease as there would be no need for drug "mules". The United States will welcome all those who wish to legally enter our country, providing that they learn English and pass the traditional test that used to be part of becoming an American. After all, America was made great in no small part by immigrants from throughout the world.

Third, we will inact term limits as I have previously discussed(prior campaign "blogs"). Corruption will not be tolerated during my administration. If an elected official is caught accepting money for illicit reasons, he or she will be banned from all political life and function. Political corruption is as old as politics itself, but that is no excuse. We have to draw a line somewhere.

Fourth, I believe a change in our foreign aid policy is in order. The phrase "Charity begins at home." should be our mantra. We spend entirely too much money to bolster "goodwill" elsewhere. We send hundreds of millions elsewhere and our own homeless and lower income suffer. There is an aspect of this that benefits corporations: they profit from the government buying over-priced goods. People are thereby working, true, but by that same token, the food and supplies that are sent away could be distributed here at home.

Fifth, our soldiers will be withdrawn immediately from both war fronts. These men and women will no longer suffer in lands that have fought for longer than there has been written history. Our original goal should have been to find and capture Bin Laden and yes, quelch terrorist training. We have done neither. We will no longer cower in fear when taunted or threatened by madmen. If we have true and faithful knowledge of a training camp, it will be obliterated. Surgical strikes by air, land and sea will be the tip of our sword. If our sons and daughters are to be sent to their deaths, then let it be for something truly just. We will no longer send billions to lands that waste it on bogus projects or just outright steal it from where it is needed. Our enemies have no fear of striking while cowering in the corners, we will seek our retribution with impunity. Terror will be our weapon against those who so readily seek to use it out of jealousy and unfounded hatred. We must strike terror and fear in those who seek to oppress others or harm the innocent.


Next, there has to be a standard for punishment, but there also has to be a reasonable solution to over-crowding. I will mandate the death penalty for "life without the possibility of parole" inmates, to be carried out immediately. Child molesters, not to include cases such as an 18 year old that had consensual sex with a minor and things of that nature, will be subject to the same. The savings from supporting tens of thousands of people that will NEVER be contributing members of society can be put to better use in some of my other areas of interest. All other inmates will be put to immediate use in supervised chain gangs. We will be able to use some of the savings to hire new corrections officers and finance the work crews.

Lastly, at least for this speech, we will put in place standards for lessening the presence of government while enforcing existing laws in all other sectors. Many aspects of our lives are over-legislated and under-enforced. Again, we must start somewhere. Money that will be saved from not supporting unneeded wars, overseas bases, foreign aid and functionless inmates can be used to finance growth and industry for jobs on AMERICAN soil to be given to AMERICANS, whether natural born or naturalized. Companies will be encouraged to bring jobs back home and produce quality, durable goods here. Any illegal immigrants will be deported and not given job opportunities. Any company that violates this will face stiff fines and sanctions.

I must further add that I feel that "too big to fail" is a ridiculous statement. If that company or bank is not fiscally sound, they were not meant to succeed. Other companies will fill in the gaps left when a giant corporation that has shoddy business practices or downright illegal ones, fails.


So there it is. This is the rough outline of the platform that I will run on. Congress may not want to cooperate, but with your involvement, they will be gently "reminded" that their political life is in your voting hands. Take back your power America. We attained the "Greatest Nation" status for a reason, the wonderful feelings of security and righteous might that came with it can and will be ours again. God Bless America and God save us all.

116 Conformity Now!

Why cant the world submit to my hard-headed, sinful ways? Mrs. DeWitt has long heard me extoll the virtues of there being a Scott-DeWitt-only-lane on every road and highway. Shopping lanes do not cater to me and my fickle whims. I cannot begin to tell you how aggravating some of those unfeeling, ignorant people counting out pennies in walmart or some such place are. How dare they inconvenience me by delaying my egress?

I have sworn to myself that the next little old lady in line at the bank or old man at a gas station will have boot marks up their spine for the audacity of taking more than thirty seconds to do their business. What the hell are they thinking? Dont they know how important it is that I be allowed to hurry up and get home to my tv and xbox? Damned inconsiderate if you ask me.

I have stared in awe at the obvious slight to my importance, when getting ready to leave the grocery store and everyone within sight, obviously watching my movements for the slightest hint that I'm done, rush to the 2 available cashiers and jam the lines. They obviously prowl the aisles in concert, not unlike sharks waiting for an opening, they look for a sign of weakness and move in to pile their worthless garnerings on the conveyor belts and thereby cause me to puff and fidget loudly while I waste my precious time on them.

Dont get me started about buying stamps and Dairy Mart not keeping cherry-vanilla Dr. Pepper. Bastards.

On a serious note, I have observed most of the above frustrations or experienced them myself while about my daily ramblings. I am not a patient person in some respects, but it has always amazed me what some folks will say and do when they become enraged at something so small. You know? The guy/girl who is smoking/texting/talking and riding your bumper, waits their chance and then passes you and turns off in about a half a mile or so. Those kind of people. The foot-tapper at the quick stop who cant get their beer/cigarrettes/lottery tickets fast enough. The lady in the "fast food" (how many of them are actually fast?) line that orders enough food for 37 and a half people, but God-forbid she has to sit more than 20 seconds to get it.

Faster access to everything, increasing pressure at work, home and kids have led to some of the most awful road rage, line rage and downright rudeness that has ever been witnessed. Rich, poor, in-shape, out of shape, young, old....it has come from every corner of our society. I have seen people from all segments of our society display rage at the most inoccuous things.

I would like to say first that I hold myself accountable when I do it. If I dont, Roz does. That being said, I think people let themselves become so stressed, sometimes for fear of being ostracized in one way or another, that the rage, fear and depression present themselves at these smallest of transgressions in their daily life. They dont want to be "that guy" at work, they dont want to be the "crazy lady" in the neighborhood or the person that speaks their mind, thereby pissing off others when they voice their concerns or their morals. So, Granny at the gas-pump pays the price.

I know my kids would tell you that I spout off immediately when I experience something that I perceive as "not-right". I suppose it would partly help if people would get things off their chest immediately (depending on the situation) and learn to deal with each other without fists or bullets flying. This is one subject I probably shouldnt have an opinion on, but it's been eating at me. I'm not sure what else to say on the matter, except that I know the "brotherly love" thing will never fly. I know a little about human nature, even though I'm a little jaded in thinking that most people are okay.

Either approach life like everyone's your friend until proven otherwise or everyone's out to get you. How lonely you must be right now if that is your choice. I think you're blinded, I think the rage is unwarranted and you need to re-evaluate yourself and I really wish you'd hurry up and do it because you're irritating me....

In closing, I would like to say that I realize a nasty aspect of human nature is greed. Greed in wanting your way, on your time, by your standards. I get it... really. I dont agree, but I get it. There will always be hate in this world, but this kind of anger is avoidable. Grit your teeth and let it out at an appropriate time, buy a punching bag or knit a sweater. Find a way to be tactful when someone is being truly inconsiderate. Whatever you have to do. Now, if you dont mind, quit monopolizing my time, I have ice cream melting beside me...dammit.

115 Dick Cheney Is a Cereal Rapist

Before you go bitching about it, yes, I know I said cereal rapist. I'm just chock full of double entendre. Ha. Without further adieu, I give you yet another aspect of why I think our government should be wiped clean and replaced.

I have preached time and time again about apathy. We all do it. It doesnt make it right, but we still do it. In context, we elect mostly the same people to mostly the same offices, year after year. They smile, bullshit us a little(or a lot) and the whole time the better part of them are taking money and perks from special interest groups. Oil and gas in your state? You can pretty much count on some or all levels of your state and federal government accepting money to allow them what they want to extract their liquid money. The same goes for every other industry, whether it be big pharma, big oil, big industry or any other infinitely wealthy organization.

What do we do? We keep letting them stick it to us until it affects something we care about. I think it can be changed, but it will take more than just me to do it. How many times do the oil companies have to destroy your local hunting area or muck up your hiking trail or picnic area? How many more doctors and hospitals will push drugs that are worse than the disease? Yeah, I know they arent politicos, but it's the same thing. I'm sure that somehow there are a bunch of politicians being paid off by the drug companies for something. How many industries pay politicians for allowing them to further some aspect of their business in a way that is a little "off the books"? Displace some people? Sure. Wait, lets send all the heavy manufacturing to Pago-Pago because those little brown bastards will work for 32 cents an hour. We can shutter the factory and have a multi- million dollar tax break as well. What's that senator? Your limo is a little cramped? Well, we'll just have a nice new Bentley waiting for you after you sign the bill. Yes, yes senator, we(OOOOOIIIIIILLLLLLLL) will give you free gas in the form of a "campaign contribution". How much? Welllll, how much do you need senator?

....And on and on. You remember the line from Clueless? " You can only hear that Richard Gere-Gerbil story so many times and it's got to be true" That's how I feel about politicians. I'm willing to bet that if you have suspicions that one of them's crooked, then they probably are. Occasionally one of them gets too ballsy and gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar and one foot on the throat of some poor constituent. They throw him under the bus and people feel a little better about "the awful, crooked politician" getting caught and punished. Oh. I mean, losing his position. They never really get punished, unless other rich people get shanked. BERNIE MADOFF. Pissed off a bunch of other rich freakers and now his poor wife had to give up her personal possessions . Yes, again, he's not a politician, but again, it's the same crap.

How much do you think Rob Blogojavich( frick, I know I spelled it wrong) would have really gotten if he'd sold Obama's seat? If the big "O" hadnt been elected president, say....he'd just quit and went into some private sector job, would anything have been done? I doubt it. No fame, no gain.

Let's do Mr. Cheney now. Haliburton. 'nuff said.

No, I feel the need to say " some of the crookedest mother effers that ever walked the planet. " For the last what....30 or 40 years?

The biggest thing I can think to do legally is "Term limits". In one way, some of the honest politicians.....Had to stop and snicker/snort there, would suffer. Their experience and agendas that may have benefitted their constituents would either have to be expedited or wait until a later term was earned. They should have to at least sit out 1 term and have a public evaluation of work accomplished for their current term. We're Americans Dammit! We could figure out some rational way to hold them accountable for what they do during their tenure and either allow or disallow them from further office.

In the end, our apathy always seems to win out. We shrug our collective shoulders, sigh and utter the completely idiotic phrase " Oh well, what can we do?". How dumb. It's no wonder the rest of the world reviles us. What's my favorite historic phrase kiddies? That's right, Mr. Jefferson. No, not George(as in George and Weezy). Mr Thomas J. Something about " The tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots." I'm not saying that we should all go out and wax your local congressman. Yet. Change is always painful and as spoiled Americans, we detest anything difficult or things that may affect us personally. Sacrifice is a necessity for attaining greatness. A couple million men that died about 60 years ago will attest to that. We gained great respect and attained some fabulous ideals and morals (albeit for only about 20 years) but we still did it. Many things carried over until the last decade or so. Unfortunately, when the dollar became more important than life and liberty and the pursuit of 2.5 kids a wife and home, we temporarily felt great buying cheap goods from big corporations at ridiculously low prices. We traded our souls for a $400 home computer and a closet full of clothes from bangladesh. Oh and let's not forget your service representative Veejay, I mean BOB, who directs your credit/phone/finances from somewhere in New Delhi.

Do some actual research. Check out the people running locally and see how many people that actually know them would recommend them. Do a little research, if only on the net, about anything that your Staties or Federals have done in their political and business life. See if they have a questionable past from an old job or lower office. We have the greatest system in place that the world has ever known. We make little use of it. I fear it will take a monumental disaster to make us take notice and actually care. 911 was a horrible tragedy that should have been averted, but I believe that it will take an event that would make it look like a bad sunburn to make people take a hand in their own futures.

Take heart my fellow Americans. Nothing lasts forever. Ice cream cake, bull markets, democracies....but hey! Tomorrow's another Day!

114 R and R

Well. It's amazing sometimes how a change will come about. Sometimes you can see it coming at you while you're frozen(deer in the headlights). You know it's coming, you see the end result and then, BAM!, it hits you. Sometimes it just creeps up on you. Like death stalking a fat, myopic, social retard who lives in his parent's basement, slurping energy drinks and gorging on cheeseburgers while his World of Warcraft character gets stronger and better looking.

Whew. The things that go through my mind. You know what I'm talking about, anyway. I was stressed the freak out by Saturday and about the middle of the scorching hot day, I suggested that we haul ass for the lake. Since Cheat Lake is not conducive to rest and relaxation for those of us who dont have more than an inflatable raft, and Deep Creek isnt any better, I suggested we go to the old standard from when the kids were little: Broadford.

You have to keep in mind that it was about 2500 degrees Celsius outside and the humidity was thick enough that fish were swimming right out of the water and breaking the previously unbreakable barrier of land and sky to swim right along side cars and confound small children riding their bikes. Allowing of course, that they pried their pudgy, lethargic fingers from the video game controls and text keys of their phones.

So there we were, throwing down towels in the shady grass bank, just outside of the roped off childrens area. As I tried to ease into the water, I kept thinking that it was about 3 degrees above freezing. It hit me that my body temperature was so hot, that any water under the boiling point was sure to feel like jumping into a tub of ice water. After getting the ol' "holy crap, my junk is receding and thereby turning me into a 6 year old because this water is so freakin cold" experience, I just decided to bail in all at once. It took about 7 to 9 seconds and it began to feel like I had passed over to the other side and began to enjoy one of the minor benefits of what must surely be my personal Heaven.

The water coming up from the bottom of the lake was quite cool and the water from the super-heated edge was mingling to create a sandy, wet utopia. Some of the fish starting to swim from the parking lot to the highway even turned around and came back when they heard the pleased sounds I was making. We stayed in the water for about an hour and a half, not wanting to take the chance that coming out would result in being steamed like a lobster in a pot. Eventually, we managed to grudgingly stretch out, still in partial shade, and try to wait for the cooking to come.

Funny thing: it never happened. As our body temperatures were significantly lowered, I suppose, from the cool water, the shade protected us from that hateful, glowing ball. As you may have guessed, I'm not a warm-weather person. I do better in the fall, always have, always will. Not to say that I dont like a nice warm day once in a while, I just dont like baking and suffocating in heat and high humidity. So, I pulled my hat down over my face and just lay there, soaking in a slight breeze and the shifting shade, although the breeze was a bit warm.

Just like that, peace and contentment slapped me upside the head. I felt relaxed, not one iota of stress. I cannot overstate it enough: I cant recall even a vacation when I felt so contented. Tomorrow didnt exist. Technology, taxes and annoying coworkers didnt exist. Home and hearth, aggravating friends and neighbors, hungry pets: none of it existed or even mattered if it did. There was only the smell of the air, the water, the trees. There was only a waving shade, a kissing breeze and the low din of voices, punctuated by children's laughing and playful shreiks. I really dont know how it happened and I dont care if I ever do. I felt as relaxed as I ever have in my conscious life. I suppose as an infant I may have felt that way, but then, who among us remembers that far back?

I cant recall how long I layed there, not that I cared. The amazing thing was that often, we all know these moments are few and precious, so we agonize with the knowledge that they must end. Not the case here. Not ONE thing worried me, except when the spider crawled up my elbow. After a 3 second hissy fit, I was back in the zone. Those few hours stretched out next to the sand were worth more to me than all the vacations that I have ever taken. I cannot explain it and I will not look a gift horse in the mouth.

You should all be so lucky, perhaps you have been. I am still amazed at how a few hours of my life, pinned to a last minute decision have changed my attitude so quickly. A few days ago I felt a palpable stress. I was a clinging, gelatinous mass that was draped over me, filling my pores, my eyes and permeating my brain. Every aspect of daily life was a stressful decision waiting to be made and then....nothing.

The closest I can come and it will only cheapen it, trust me, is from the movie Office Space when Ron Livingston's character is being hypnotized and the therapist dies mid-hypnosis, leaving him in a state of eternal bliss and relaxation. It truly cleared my mind. So, I will leave you to ponder my words and wonder if I just went nuts or if there really is something to it. I hope you realize the value of little things. I hope you can achieve even a small bit of how I felt. It had been so long since I felt even a fraction of that happiness that doesnt involve loved ones, I suppose it felt like I was the only person to ever be that contented and not spend 12 years in a Buddhist monastary meditating.

May peace and contentment be yours, if even only for a moment. THAT is how I spent my Saturday....How's your day going?

113 Gilmore, Days and Endings

I think, as I havent posted regularly for a long time, I should cover something "darkly pleasant". I have pushed my body and mind lately, to the point of mental exhaustion. I havent taken a lot of time lately for any kind of stress abatement. We DID go on a short vacation, and while it was relaxing, it didnt seem to get rid of the stress that has accumulated lately. I'm confident it isnt detrimental, but I get tightness in my chest a lot while worrying about the "everydays". School, family, finishing the house, yada, yada, yada.

We've been making the wine that some of you have come to know and love and while picking them is both a chore and fun, it still hasnt served to relax the old gray muscle.

So, as I have a few minutes, I sit here and look back at the relaxing things, the pleasant things, the things that allow me to keep my sanity.

Wife and kids not withstanding, I like comic books(only certain ones, like all good collectors?), music to suit the mood, engines(anything with one that I can do something stupid in), alcohol when the time is appropriate, video games(particularly first person shooters), real guns, fishing, cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper, Maryland blue crab, black and white war movies, westerns (John Wayne at the foremost), girls in boy-shorts(legal age, get your minds out of the gutter), girls in various skimpy clothes(not negligees, too cliche) and various other pleasures of the flesh and mind.

Now, any combination of the above is likely to make me feel all warm and fuzzy, for a various amount of time. We dont really socialize at bars and parties like a lot of our peers, but we socialize with our friends as time allows. Lately it seems we barely have 5 minutes for the kids and ourselves. I know that the end result is what we're striving towards: a grown-up career for moi, weekends off and fancier dog biscuits for the pooches. I try to ignore the stress, keep the head up and the broad shoulders for the rest of the family to rely on, but man, it really has gotten to me lately. I started having huge, gouging pangs of nostalgia lately, being brought on by anything and nothing. I want the feeling I had before most of my old friends left the area, before so many of the old-timers that taught me bits and pieces of life passed on, the feeling of well-being and hope that I had when Clinton was in office, gas was under a dollar, a dollar bought something and all was right with America.

I catch myself sneaking off around the house, driving slower to work or some such thing to have a moment to try and force that feeling back. I always get to the cusp of it and then it backs off. It's always there, I can taste it, catch the scent of it, but it never fully materializes. Dont tell me not to live in the past. It's not that I want to live in that time or with people loved and lost, I just want that feeling. I've ranted on this before, but now it is so prevalent, it consumes me at every waking moment. I think it has to do in part with me finally getting off my duff and doing something career and life-wise. Fear, I suppose. Fear of failure, fear that things wont be as secure as the blessed 90's were for us. Fear that I'll never get this freaking house finished. Fear that I'll never find a lifestyle program(diet and excercise) that I'll stick to.

I was hoping that writing this down would be cathartic, but so far, it hasnt helped. I suppose a little more introspection (6 months? 6 years?) may bring about some grand realization and I'll get my head back in the game. I dont have time to turn around, let alone spend some bonding time with Roz and the boys like I used to. I fear that we will all drift apart and that even more things wont be the same. I suppose we all have these fears in some form or another.

I dont know if you could qualify this as a midlife crisis. I havent bought a sports car, a hot, young mistress, a rolex or gotten hair or pec implants yet, so how do you define it? Isnt that what we're supposed to do in a midlife crisis? Most of my older readers may know my views on life and after-life, so it's not fear of THAT unknown. Whatever it is, I have a summer class that is almost over and then the real school kicks in. Somewhere in the downtime of 3 weeks, I need to find myself. I need to find NEW ways to experience family and life that give me the sense of perceived well-being that I had. I dont really recall losing it, it just happened. It's probably happened to some of you in one way or another. I dont have to like it, I dont have to put up with it, so dont tell me that.

In closing, I have great feelings with my family and the activities that we DO find time to do together. I just want to get rid of this sick feeling that has me wanting to rev up the old family truckster and smash it through the front window at walmart just to see if I still FEEL like I'm alive. I want to drive up to the strip job above the house and shoot the living crap out of things like we used to. I dont want to worry about what kind of coverings I need to finish the ceiling and floor. I want the kids, as they continue to explore their teen-age independence, to look at me like they did when they were 8. I want John Wayne resurrected from the dead and paired with Clint Eastwood to make a western to end all westerns that I will watch every day for the rest of my life. I want the wife and I to be at ease with our health and our physiques like we were not so many years ago. For lack of a better term, I want to be what we ALL want to be:.....happy.

113 Call, And I'll r

112 Pink Panties

A loooooong time ago, I figured out that life was much more interesting if I wasnt afraid to take chances. Not life-threatening chances, mind you.(not always, anyway) I was the kid who would do something just to see if you could do it and get away with it. I was just more subtle about some things. Aaaah, the art of deception through telling the truth. Sound complicated? Not really.

I could come home muddy, watch Mom getting mad and deflect it by telling the truth. So-and-so was riding in front of me, ran through the mud and I couldnt stop in time, so I went right on through it. It was fun, so we did it a couple more times. Still mad, but not as much. It was much better than saying "i dunno..." or " they pushed me into it". Not that you dont ever get in trouble, but no one gets away with everything.

Not to say that I, or any of you, should condone lying, quite the contrary. Lying only digs you a deeper hole. It promotes more lying and often ends badly. I just happened to find that the truth, while sometimes painful, almost always results in less punishment and quicker understanding from most people. Of course, some people are just meant to be lied to because, frankly, they're just too stupid to understand or believe the truth.

All this brings me to the point I'm at now: enough experience from doing crazy, wonderful, wild, stupid things to tell the kids not to, but I'm still likely to do them myself. Oh, I know enough not to jump off the roof with a sheet to see if I can float down, but I'm still liable to jack someone's car up, put it on blocks an inch or so off the ground and watch them wonder why the car wont move. Yes, I've done that one. A couple times. I've been known to go booney bashin' in the wife's SUV. What? I'm the one who has to fix it. I've had occasion to be out skinny dippin in places I shouldnt a' been, snuck into places I shouldnt have just to see if I could and I still occasionally like to play roadsign bingo, just to name a few.

When I got out of the Army, our families took us out to eat. As the waitress was checking on all of us mid-meal, I blurted out " I was just making a bet that you have pink underwear on." Now, I hadnt discussed this prior to her coming over and actually had just thought of it. Without missing a beat, she pulls her underwear out and says "Yep, with little blue flowers on it!". Of course, we had a good laugh and I was reminded that I'm not the only nut out there.

I've rarely been afraid to say anything to anyone, the exception being when I realize that they are either a HUUUUGE pain in the ass or too stupid to respond without explaining the meaning of the word "the". Even so, I've spoken my mind to some of these people too. You'd really be surprised how people respond when you speak some truth coupled with a modicum of tact. To quote a great line from a movie: I could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. LOL

Risk taking, truth speaking and having fun with life in general may not have made me the richest or the most well-liked, but it HAS made me happy with life in general and opened my eyes to what I consider MY personal truth: The journey is more important in some ways than the destination. If you harm no one and you learned something, good or bad, then it was worth it. I think I've passed enough of that on to my boys that they will learn, in their own time, to enjoy what they have and make the most out of life. The most, meaning what you enjoy and things that you are afraid to approach, but do anyway. There is nothing that cannot be overcome if approach it, learn and adapt yourself to the solution.

Dont be afraid to hug people, dont be afraid to eat something new(except lima beans, ugh, hate 'em) and dont sweat the small stuff. I suppose in theory, I'm probably shortening my lifespan, but I dont care. If I die tomorrow, I'm glad I sprayed WD40 in a muffler and lit it. BOOOM. I'm glad I got drunk (military) and let my wife and her friend put makeup on me. I'm glad I let the boys sit between my knees and shoot charcoal briquettes off the back porch rail when they were small. I'm glad I jumped off the frame holding the fuel oil tanks at my Grandma's onto the back of a not-so-happy steer. For the record: I have stitches, hospital bills and broken furniture that will say that some things probably shouldnt have been attempted, but I have many friends, from many places that will say "That crazy red-headed guy was nice to me. He was a good guy. Crazy, but alright." More importantly, we have friends that will say that we have kids that were friendly, adventurous and still had some manners and, more importantly, morals.

I've seen many of our friends and acquaintances leading a good life, having fun on occasion, but always the same thing. No, it's not always bad, but if I were to leave ANY kind of legacy it is to not let life pass you by without grabbing it's ass, or at the very least: ask it if it's wearing pink underwear. Have a great weekend, I've got to go check my corn liquor. :)

111 Bleed it Out

Today I find myself (as usual) reminiscing. I remember the sense of well-being as a child and as a teenager. Not just the parents-are-footing-the-bill-for-most-stuff kind of well-being, but the overall sense that you have in the back of your head at any given time. What I mean is: the feeling that you have about the life around you, not just your home and family. The feeling that was even there when I was 5 and I knew I had an uncle in Viet Nam a couple years before, or that was there when I heard about the Challenger accident. Reagan's attempted assassination, the 70's oil shortage, "no new taxes", bell bottoms, disco and Flock-of-seagulls hair...none of them shook the overall feeling that most of us had of wellness.

Reagan's trillion dollar deficit(did you forget about that?)couldn't knock it, Kinney Shoe closing down didnt do it, inflation, deflation, Nixon's impeachment, Nixon taking us off the gold standard, Beirut, the Falklands, Grenada, the Cold War, the fall of the Soviet Union--none of it took away from the overall pride and self-righteous, smug satisfaction that we had all come to know and love. Yuppies bought and sold the foundation of America and still we shined. Industry gave way to technology in the 80's and 90's and still we shined. In fact, we thought we were superior to the world(except for those damned math-oriented orientals). Bill Clinton's exploits were offset by the BALANCED BUDGET. The whole way through the 90's and into the new millenium we still felt the wealth, power and satisfaction that came to be associated with what has become the United States of Sending Our Money Overseas to Foreign Workers Who Will Perform Our Jobs For Less. Oops. There it is. We greedied our way right into sending the rest of our money over "there". We have become a service-based economy, sending an almost un-countable fortune just to other, oil-producing countries who yet despise us for our freedom. We send vast wealth to hated lands to produce goods that are inferior because we dont want to pay for them at a fair rate(and you cant get the average schmo to work in a pie factory).

Our sense of pride kicked in for about three seconds during the trade center attacks and now, the worst ecological disaster in the history of man has prompted little more from general America than a grunt from being kicked by a baby chick. We look at the news and say how awful it is while people's livelihoods are being destroyed. Embattled Gulf'ers are now staring down the barrel of a very large gun. It is loaded with black, gooey death and nature is preparing to drop the hammer. The coming hurricane season is about to show you what happens when millions of gallons of crude are picked up and thinned out in the atmosphere. It has been known to rain a bit of, oh I dont know...benzyne, or worse, a vast sheen of oil on everything for a thousand miles.

You think it wont affect us here? I beg to differ. More federal dollars that ARENT going to 2 useless wars, bailouts for billionaires, bailouts for banks and companies that should have failed(if they had solid foundations they wouldnt have needed the money), will be diverted for cleanup. Yes, they will. Dont believe the bullcrap you're hearing about making BP pay for their mess. It's our mess too. We greedily suck oil without a thought until it creeps up to a price we think we cant, in good conscience, pay. Not long ago it went from a dollar something something to almost four dollars and boy, we were ready to trample the world and crack it in half to fuel our desire for "cheap" oil. We are now facing a disaster of unprecedented proportions and it is NOT, I repeat, NOT BP's fault. It's yours and mine. We own every dead bird, every idled fishing vessel, every inch of tourist-barren shoreline that wont see dollars for years to come. We demanded oil "NOW", like a petulant child, and we didnt care where it came from. Those of you who are smug enough to think you had no part in this are the worst, aside from the profiteers in the idiotic game of Wall Street. You are what's wrong with the country. "Gimme, gimme, gimme, but dont ask me for any help, and it's not my problem when you have one."

Facebook friend John Fitchett has spent time helping, NOT being part of the problem. He has weathered both natural and man-made storms around the Big Easy. He is there, right now, washing animals that WE caused harm to . He is treading hellish, gob-covered, filth-soaked beaches that WE caused to be destroyed. He could have turned a blind eye and said "I dont have a car. It's not MY fault.", and yet, he spent his time away from work cleaning up our mess.

There's no reason for us to fly down or drive down to the Gulf to help. It could be as simple as BELIEVING that there are alternatives that can be incorporated to eventually replace that hated medium. We can cut back(yeah, right. you'll really cut back on driving to walmart/starbucks/rue21) and decrease our insatiable demand. We can encourage each other and our kids to WORK and earn a dollar. Not be afraid of it. We can buy things that are made here, in the U.S. We can say Damn the feelings of the other countries and the policy that thinks we should send them dollars, denim jeans and democracy. We do NOT have to worry about EVERYONE'S welfare. Charity begins at home, remember? We should put real effort into saving our way of life, our REAL way of life, before it's too late. Get rid of your notions of isolated non-responsibility.

Brace yourselves, I think a storm is coming. Black rain will fall. It will coat you, your family, everything you have known. Our walls will crumble and fall and who will be there to pick up the pieces? You? The idiots we've elected that scramble to garner all they can for themselves? The rich that would stand on your corpse to reach the next higher apple on the tree? Or will it be you? Climbing down off your high horse to make an effort, to build some sweat equity in a country that was built on sweat equity. We are the laziest super power on the face of the planet. We dont have to be. At least, we dont have to wait until our oil-soaked corpses are piled up high enough to stop the flood of seemingly endless oil that is bubbling up in the once-beautiful waters that sustain so much life.

Oh, and for the love of all that we hold dear, will somebody take charge and show these people that there HAS to be a way, an AMERICAN way, to stop the flow from a 2 foot pipe a mile under water. America is bleeding folks. When the host dies, the only thing that is usually left are parasites and they quickly leave to find another host. I want to believe that wellness will be felt by the next generation and the ones after that. I want to believe that I will feel it again in my lifetime. Is the damage that is being wrought really worth what we are gaining? Reap as you sow. Honor the memory of the countless dead that made our country what it was and what it could and should be again. We are a bastion of hope for countless oppressed people. Do you really think your Aeropostale and Jimmy Choo's are worth our fore-fathers' suffering?

Blood for oil is taking on a solid meaning along the shores of the Gulf. Our boys' blood thousands of miles from here, the blood that lives in the souls of millions that call the Delta home. How far into the heartland will it have to reach before it makes you bleed? Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Goodnight all.

110 Sam I Am

Apparently, I qualify as what our parents used to call a "late bloomer". Well, it depends on what aspect you look at. I got married fairly young, but we waited several years to have kids. We've bought a few houses over the years, but now we have one that we built and it's almost paid for. I resisted cell phones and most higher technology until about 2 years ago. I never really formed a coherent thought until I got on facebook. LOL. Lastly, as I have a class that starts tomorrow morning, it only took me 22 years to finish going back to school and (hopefully) earn some credentials.

A few days ago, Brian Bailey posted a video clip from a teacher begging the question "Who Am I?". I watched it a couple times and it got me thinking: Just who the hell AM I? So, here I go:

I am a husband and father. I am a teacher and a student. I am an outdoorsman and a couch potato. I'm a guy who can watch movies as long as they involve comedy, sex, cars and/or violence. I'm a guy who likes hash and eggs but not lima beans or raw tomatoes, unless thinly sliced on a good sammich. I'm a gun-nut and a seeker of peace. I like cars but only if they're older than me. I like to read, but hate to read instructions. I love to play video games, read comic books and color with crayons. I like squirrels but I hate rats.(field mice are okay) I like the smell of fresh-cut grass but hate cutting it. I like to build things, but I also like to tear things apart.(one of my favorites is breaking glass, there's just something satisfying about smashing glass) I'm a guy who loves snow for deer season, but hates it the rest of the time. I like rain and a good storm...a lot. I like old barns, abandoned houses and eclectic people. I like music, but my tastes change like people change socks. I'm a guy who gets embarassed easily about some things, but not when I FEEL like embarassing myself. I'm a guy who believes in telling the truth even if it hurts, the exception being when dealing with unstable people, the government and family. Ha. I like the idea of cities, but hate being in or driving in them. I love to drive by the way. I love life, but I'm not afraid of death, I've seen a lot of both. I love football, some baseball, a little hockey and women's beach volleyball. I'm the guy who read Green Eggs and Ham, over and over, faster and faster,like a maniac, so the kids would keep laughing. I like the smell of canned dog food and yes, I've tasted it. I like colors in nature, like the sky or a scenic view, but clothes, house paint and fung shui(?) crap are lost on me as I'm really badly red-green color blind. I am a dog person and believe that cats are only good for target practice. I like fans blowing but dislike air conditioning. I like black and white movies, war movies and cartoons but dislike most chick flicks and anything with Miley Cyrus. I like playing with fire and I like watching a good fireplace. Above all, I like how Roz and I have raised our kids and I've enjoyed watching them grow up. I'm the guy who feels like a bank, a janitor, a short order chef, a mechanic, a counsellor, a dictator and a mediator.

After all this, and trust me, this is the short list, I've finally realized that I'm a happy dude. What makes me happy? All of the above and more. I conceitedly look at a lot of people and think that they are empty shells, doing the same thing day after day and only looking forward to a few moments of pleasure doing "their thing" on the weekends. No, there's nothing wrong with that, some would call it stable. I've done so many crazy things because I wanted more out of life because it could end at any moment, but I've also tried to leave something lasting, at least in the kids.

I am your friend, your husband, your brother, your boss, your follower and your listener. I am a hand-lender, a shoulder to lean on and (I hope) an inspiration for some. I am a comedian, a critic, a risk taker, a procrastinator and (again, I hope) an all-around good guy. I am Scott DeWitt.

109 You're a Trip

The time is fast approaching for the "Ol DeWitt Family Vacation." As per tradition, it will be planned well in advance, with the major details to be changed at the last minute. There will also be much stress, pain and lamenting.

This year will be the first year that we havent had a friend of the boys tag along or that we havent gone to a friend or relative's place while we're "relaxing". Dont get me wrong, usually it's nice to have or see a familiar face. This is also the first year that we wont have both boys with us. Nathan graduates in a week and he has a summer job that requires him to be here every day. It's kinda sad in that respect, I guess. It feels like the end of an era. In a few years, he'll probably have a family of his own and I hope we take some vacations with them, but for now, it's down to Roz, Nick and me.

Back to the fun stuff: usually our vacations turn into a monument to trial and pain. For example: the first year we visited our old friends Tim and Judy, we walked in the door, Nathan runs to the bathroom and promptly clogs the toilet. It overflowed everywhere and Judy was quite gracious(although she probably was ready to strangle him) and cleaned it up. I laughed, albeit nervously. We took the boys to Virginia Beach one year and wound up staying in a Super8 motel for a night. There was a conspicuous hole in the ceiling above the bed and one over the bathtub. The pool looked less swimable than the ocean and I'm not fond of the ocean. At least not the nasty, east coast, dirty, sticky kind. Point me towards clear, tropical waters and we're in business.

About 5 years ago, we packed up the four of us and 3 friends into the old family truckster, I mean the caravan, hitched up the 18 foot trailer and loaded both of them down to the point we couldnt drive more than 55 mph. No, really, it swayed waayyyy to much. I know. I shoulda done this or shoulda done that, but at the time, my patience was already wearing thin, so we took of with seven people in a dodge caravan, an 18 foot trailer and enough clothes, food and accessories for seven people. As we went through the Chesapeake tunnels, people were honking and waving at us, all the way through. We thought" Wow, everybody loves vacationing!" As we exited the tunnel and made our way down the street where our relative lived, we rolled down the windows and heard a loud scraping noise. I stopped , walked around and just about lost it when I saw that the propane tanks on the camper had come loose and were dragging by the hoses. They had nice worn spots on them, nice and shiny. Nice, friendly people, waving us on. Typical DeWitt vacation.

If we go to a lake, it storms, thunder and lighting. If we go to the beach, a hurricane rolls through. We have our share of fun and truthfully, the other stuff that happens, just makes it more interesting. We have learned from mistakes and we've learned what makes for a great time. I'm confident that even after the kids are grown and gone and we take an occasional trip for two, there will still be stuff that happens.

There are times that I wonder if anyone really has a "perfect" vacation. What is "perfect"? Romance, scenery and relaxation? Kids playing in an unfamiliar place and making new friends? Different foods and a different room to sleep in? Could it be that a true vacation HAS to hold trials and tribulations?

Not that i'm terribly cynical, but I've experienced many things over the years that, if too perfect, were often boring after a short burst of enjoyment. I'm not much for order, being that repitition and enjoyment taken in too big a dose tend to(quite frankly) bore me. I like a little chaos. Change and chaos are interesting. I'm not the type to sit behind a desk or stand on an assembly line for year after year and actually be able to do the job and not go postal. I like to experience too many things, I suppose. If I can experience something and at least partially master it, I'm happy. Like a crow, the next bright, shiny thing catches my eye and I want to experience it, to enjoy it.

So, here we are, talking vacation. This year, we're going to go rent a cabin near Chesapeake Bay and do some fishing in the Potomac and the Shenandoah(sp?) rivers and throw some crab pots in the bay. I've never been crabbing unless you count going to the docks and buying a bushel. It ought to be interesting, I suppose I could at least fall in and get bitten by a shark or maybe a horshoe crab will pinch me or something. Maybe climate change(global warmings a myth, global warmings a myth, global warmings a myth) will accelerate and we can experience the flood of the millenium. OOOOh, maybe the Russians will invade after a massive E.M.P. and I'll have to fight my way back to WV while trying to figure out how to kill the traitorous general that's responsible for the new world war...wait, that's my Modern Warfare on Xbox. Anyway, I hope that this year proves as interesting as the previous vacations. A little anarchy is good for everybody, but why is it always centered directly over the spot chosen by the DeWitt family?

Well, like I said earlier, different is often interesting. That's not to say that in a few more years, sans kids, a nice, tropical vacation wouldnt be welcome. Laying in a lounge chair, sipping fruity alcholic beverages and watching the sun rise and set sounds okay for once. Maybe a dip in water so clear it makes your fishtank look sick. (well, ours looks like a farm pond right now) Scuba, snorkel, wind surf or paddle boat? How about people watching? You know, fun, sun bikinis that have less material than an eye patch? Yeah. That's about right. On second thought, maybe a cruise? Nah. Too many people getting sick on cruises. I think tropical sounds good, that is, as long as we havent invaded any tropical countries because of "cheap" oil, I mean trying to prevent tyranny. Yeah, tropical breezes, endless days and nights and alcohol. How old's Nick, anyway? Right. 4 more years, then it's time for some Mommy-Daddy vacations. Oh, if I play my cards right, maybe we can sneak one in before that. What's that? No self-respecting parent would go on vacation without their kid? Maybe. Does post traumatic stress from years of dealing with 2 teenagers give me a valid reason? We'll see.

One more thing: I read that the Chesapeake bay blue crabs are making a bit of a comeback. Hopefully I'll figure out how to pull a few dozen out and salvage the impending disaster that is the DeWitt Vacation. I always hear that stupid song and picture myself as driving the wood panel station wagon, winking at Christie Brinkley as she drives by and chanting to myself: "This is crazy! This is crazy! This is crazy!"

108 Pigs In Spaaaace!!!!

Something else to drag our collective feet about: Space exploration. The latest administration has all but destroyed our beloved NASA and still managed to increase their budget by about 6 percent. No, seriously. Look it up. He's effectively grounded our aging shuttle fleet without having a serious backup. Techs, geeks, engineers, workers--all are being paid for basically shuffling a whole lot of nothing around.

Space exploration has been a boost to our nation that few realize. It has spawned numerous industries here on earth, it has advanced technology by leaps and bounds, out of necessity. Like spawns like, and so we grew as a nation, faster, farther than ever before, and in a shorter time.

A promised exit from a useless war is looking like another broken promise. But wait: we spend enough ON that war to finance, oh...I dont know...Healthcare? Better education? Finding a way to keep Ben Roethlisberger's thingy in his pants? As a former soldier, I am all about keeping a good defense and I'll even go so far as to say that we should help where there are people in need, but this contrived war is pointless. Those people will go on killing one another whether we are there or not. They've done it since antiquity and they'll be doing it when humankind ends. It's in their blood and we arent going to change it by forcing democracy down their throats. I think the American public would even agree to DIVIDE the money between the programs that really need it, as opposed to spending it all in one place.

Man reached the moon with about the same computing power as a smart phone. Less, actually. We sent enterprising, daring men into a void to test their limits and ours. It took me a long time to really appreciate (forgive me) the gravity of what they did. One small step lead to jobs, innovation...industry even. Men went to a place that was marvelled at since the first, sentient humanoid looked up and wondered what else was out there. They inspired generations to innovate and invent and now, that American ideal, that set of hopes and dreams is lost. At least for the foreseeable future.

There is a spartan, miserable promise of a manned mission to Mars, but how will that play out? How will we be viable without pushing the envelope of design? Our space shuttles functioned marvelously for 30 years and probably could for many more, but there is a need for more advanced, self-sustaining craft. Let's get radical,then test them. Let's have a generation of men and women that want to push the envelope and not just be content with utilizing what we already have.

There is always a price. The obvious cost in dollars doesnt matter at this point. The cost in time, well, we need to proceed, but at a pace that ensures good results. There will be a cost in lives. There always is.

I would want peace on our planet, but as long as men have desires and ambitions, there will always be those who twist, manipulate and destroy to get what they want. Some men are never satisfied. They want the world to burn. I dont have a problem putting them in check, but we have attained a part of a goal in Iraq and now we've been mired there for 8 years. We toppled a dictator that butchered his own people and abused his power over people that wouldnt know peace if their own Gods came down, seated themselves into power and started shopping at Walmart. We ticked off more people, especially ones we were there to help, and now we're fighting a futile, pointless, unfathomably-costly war.

The bandwagon is being exited. I digress: I think with a healthy space program, we may at least start back down the road to prosperity. Maybe tech jobs will pick back up. Maybe industry will start to grow. Maybe our standards will go from status quo to strive to be the greatest. Remember, we shouldnt be giving trophies to the losers. Every kid participates, not all of them excel. Reward greatness, not mediocrity. Reach beyond the moon, grab the stars. Sail out into the void, into brave, new worlds. That, and you know, that whole thing about- ridding ourselves of the majority of government and starting over with some fresh faces, fresh ideas and hopefully some honest men and women that wont listen to power and oil lobbyists. Yeah. That.

107 Dr. Feelgood

How do you make yourself feel better? No, seriously. Do you work things out in your own head? Do you talk incessantly to friends until you either talk yourself into a solution or they help you find one? Do you shop your way out of it, or around it? Do you do something constructive or DESTRUCTIVE?

Over the years, I have seen so many souls go down the path of destruction, rarely to return. One bad choice leads to another and then another. Sex, alcohol, drugs, shopping-they all have their ups but oh, so rarely. Well, that's another rant. In this instance we will assume that they're all bad. Well, not always the sex or alcohol...or shopping. Let's back up.

If you use anything to excess and it becomes a destructive excess, that should be what we're worrying about today. So, now that I've tried to clear my head of the good stuff, let's say that many of the souls I have watched self-destruct have chosen one of these common afflictions.

You have the safe alternatives of therapy, prescription drugs(yours, not the illegal kind) and friends/family. I say do what works. Combinations of all of the above with a small dose of the stuff that makes you feel good in the short term. Hey, we all need a boost. Divorce? Dont run out and have a bunch of alcohol-induced flings, maybe have one to make you feel good and then swear off relationships until you figure out what the hell happened with YOURS.

Personal trauma? Close family or friend dies or has a traumatic event? Dont drink yourself stupid, your genetics already helped that along. You dont want any less brain cells when you're trying to figure out how to move along and to prevent any further catastrophy. Alcohol is good for nights off or out, when you're trying to relax with friends or family. Sometimes it is permissable to drink LOTS of alcohol, depending on the family. You know the ones.

Drugs are never a good choice. I personally have never tried anything illegal, and yes, that includes pot. I saw a lot of friends get smoked up and I never had the desire. I do like to get tipsy when I drink(most people say I get a little silly) (what? you dont think I could be silly?) but I dont think I'd like the whole I'm-completely-out-of-control-or-incapacitated thing. Pot? I dont know....I'd try it now that i'm older, but I dont want to set a bad standard for the boys. OOOOh----Maybe a hookah pipe. Nah. I've never smoked ANTYTHING, cigarrettes included.

Talking to friends is usually a good choice, but you have to be sure of the friends. Some cant wait to squeal all the nice, juicy gossip to everyone else they know and some just dont care. They will listen long enough for you to let them play out THEIR gripes. Find the right one, male or female, someone without an agenda of their own and you're in business. Some people DO care enough to listen to you without wanting something in return. It's quite difficult sometimes depending on your personality, to find people that just like to help, but they ARE out there.

Screw Therapists. Next paragraph. Oh. You have to be beyond the help of some ear-lending friend to go see them, but.....well, let's just say "Good Luck".

It's not beyond the scope of things for you to try one or more ways to make yourself feel whole again. You have to test the waters, as it were. It's always soooooo easy to do the things that are detrimental for you. Start somewhere that's familiar. Family? Maybe. Friends? More likely. Strangers? BINGO! It's always easier to talk to a stranger. No familiarity, no repercussions when you have to see them again at the next family reunion, just pure honesty as you see fit to tell them. Strangers that will listen are the best therapy. You dont have to judge them, they dont have to judge you. No consequences. Fire and forget as they say in the military.

I'm not saying that one thing is best for everyone, I'm just throwing some stuff out there. I've always been good at listening and (GASP) talking to people, whether friend or stranger. I found a sort of therapy in writing for you all. Like I said: Do what works. Just dont do something that makes you feel good for a minute and you KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET LATER.

Oh, just for the record: buying to the point it hurts doesnt help. You hurt your family, your debt and you. Buying yourself an xbox, wii, games, waders and boots DOES help, but only after your wife got a flat screen for the bedroom and some jewelry. Make me proud out there people, and if you need an ear, I'm usually here...I'm a poet and didnt know it....:)

106 Post Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

I've now been on facebook a little over a year and I've come to the conclusion that some of us need a lesson on sharing, rather, NOT sharing. Sometimes.

I'd like to start by saying that I personally feel the whole purpose of us being on facebook is to reconnect with old friends, make new ones and keep each other apprised of things we deem important. The problem lies where some of you like to post things that are often very personal and intimate and then you get angry when someone comments on it.

Let's get the important part out of the way: DONT PUT SOMETHING ON HERE THAT YOU DONT WANT SOMEONE TO COMMENT ON!

You worked a lot and then had to work at home, take kids to games and make dinner? You have my admiration and condolences. Trouble at work? Again, condolences. Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife troubles? Yep, same. The thing that really boils my carrots is when I or someone else comments on them, offering a personal suggestion about(possibly) how you can handle the given problem. We should say that if you have posted something and we feel we care enough about you to read it and be concerned, then we should(being a good friend) post our suggestion or answer. Well, maybe our condolences or regrets, it depends, right? Enter the dragon, so to speak. You opened the can of worms by baring your soul and at least in part, I dont think you have the right to get mad at the responses. The legitimate ones at least. I dont expect anyone to NOT defend an attack on your character(maybe you deserve it?) or an attack on your kid(s) unless they're hoodlums.

Isnt that the mentality? What more do you want from us? You dont post secrets unless you want people to see them. You dont go out in public in a low cut, tight blouse unless you want someone to notice the girls, right? It's exactly the same. Dont wear something revealing if you dont want people looking and dont post things you dont want people to read or comment on. I'm very sorry that your toaster repairman was found to be a bipolar cereal killer but if you dont like (yes, I said cereal) the responses that I give, keep it to your self.

Most of us feel strongly about the same things: we hate people that hurt kids, women and small animals. We dont like corporate greed and corruption in government. We bitch and moan about going to work, not having a job, not having a job we like and a host of other work-related gripes. We bitch about the poor state of schools, teachers, discipline and curriculum. We gripe about the price of gas, groceries and the cost of the useless wars we're fighting. We bitch about our weight, our sex lives(or lack of) and how "he/she done us wrong". The instant someone posts what they feel would be a helpful suggestion or idea, you get mad and the fur starts flying. Hurt feelings, spiteful words and unfriendings occur every day.

People always tend to lash out when they're insecure or they're angry and dont know an appropriate response. Do you know the old saying" we tend to hurt the ones we love"? So, if you're reading this and you can pronounce words more than two syllables, I hope the next time you see red when someone (in their own way) is trying to help you, you step back, calm donw and at the very least, say thanks for your concern and then get back to your troubles. Dont get into a shouting match, well, typing match, and dont read too much into it. Just stop and think before you hit that little enter button. If its THAT personal or THAT embarassing, DONT POST IT! You must want some kind of attention, because you DID post it, so choose your words carefully and be prepared to accept the consequences.

All this being said, I hope NONE of you quit posting about your Aunt's infected bunion or your boss's lesbian daughter that has a free web-cam(send me the address)or the squirrel that thought your husband's nuts were the right kind. I hope you all feel the need to keep your extended family in the know and if you have any interesting pictures, please, post away. Just dont be shocked when I tell you that your clothes are(nt) too revealing, your boob job went well, your an idiot for buying that ______ with a credit card or that pound cake you baked looks like its at least 3 and a half pounds.

Oh, feel free, as the season approaches, to post all the half-nekked pics you want, just not of your 375 pound uncle. Well, maybe. They may be interesting too. Kinda like watching a train wreck. You know it aint right, but man...you really just want to be mesmerized by the horror of it all. Remember: Sex sells, trauma is great as long as its not yours and watching people do stupid, embarassing things is great...as long as you cover one eye and peek through your fingers.

Oh, again--STOP POSTING IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE COMMENTS! I love you all, you're the best people I've ever been associated with and since we know each other so well, its okay to do your postings with your shirt off. And the webcam on. :)

105 Bits of You

Yes, I know, I asked for suggestions on facebook for rant ideas. It took me all day and then I came to the conclusion that I wanted to talk about dreams. Not the kind you plan for, educate yourself or let slip away, the kind we have when we FINALLY catch a little sleep.

I think I once posted a rant about dreams I had when I was younger and they recurred throughout the years. I have had frequent dreams involving those of you from high school that I hung around the most. They usually start out with us all in a dormitory of some sort, everyone rushing around preparing for something. We are usually all wearing those old, dark colored B.D.U.'s that I wore when I first joined the army. Usually one of you will approach me and inform me of some mission that we are all supposed to go on. In the course of preparing, I always miss the transport. It's usually a different dorm or warehouse-type building, but the faces are usually the same and the scenario usually plays out the same.

I have so many vivid, ultra-real dreams, I've quit trying to remember them over the years. I tried writing them down with disastrous results. I quit dreaming for a while and it just about made me lose my mind. Isnt it odd how you panic when something that is familiar to you is no longer there? That applies to so many things in life. I felt lost without them. It didnt matter what they were or how long they lasted, I felt hollow and empty without them. It was a comfort just to have them when I slept. I suppose that would be because I rarely quit talking and they were just another avenue to chatter away while I slept.

I have dreamt of armageddon, hovering sex-goddesses and walks through hill and dale. The other night, I dreamt I was in a high mountain pasture, working on my old truck(constant occupation with that thing) and I stopped for a moment to walk a little down the lee and talk to some old friends. When I got to their trucks, an endless parade of deer, elk, horse, goats and other critters grazed their way past my old beater. I watched as a horse as big as a clydesdale walked up to it and started eating the bolts that I had scattered about. One of the guys said "Shoot it!" and I found myself holding one of my favorite varmint rifles. Oh, did I mention that the horse was as blue as a smurf? I lead him through the pasture just as I would a deer, waiting for the shot, but each time he would clear a tree or bush, I just couldnt take the shot. Not couldnt, wouldnt. The guys were screaming at me to kill it and I just couldnt do it. He meandered up the hill and along the ridge and finally, into the trees. I felt a lot of sadness, I dont attribute it to the horse being blue, as he wandered off. Even in my dreams, I know my limitations. I know I'm a good shot, I know I have at least SOME morals and I know when there's something going on that I really should be paying attention to.

I'm still not sure what that blue horse meant. He was perfect in his way, heavily muscled, well-defined shape and looking quite healthy. If you have any ideas, let me know. Oh, and the eating-all-my-truck-bolts thing was kinda weird.

I have had dreams involving adventures as far back as I can remember. I'm always questing, striving to an end. They're usually quite involved and never do I see the end. There are always goals and side-tracks, leading me toward the end, but the end never comes. I wake up at what I would consider the 75 percent mark. Bummer.

Maybe I'm not supposed to finish anything. Maybe my purpose in life is to start and get other people started. Maybe I'm supposed to set up situations and make people think to finish them on THEIR own. It's not as depressing as it sounds. In a way, I like organizing something, plotting, planning and setting the gears in motion and then setting back while others complete the task. Wow. I just analyzed my own dreams, sans encyclopedia-like dream book. Meh.

I frequently dream of those who mean the most to me: Roz and the boys, Dewey, Mike, Jen and occasionally the host of other friends I have been priveledged to know over the years. Is it weird that my dreams are so vivid? I dont think so. I have asked a lot of people and most say that when they DO dream, it's usually hazy or black and white. Several rarely experience dreams at all. Pity. I find it comforting in a way. Most of you are usually the same as when last we met and occasionally a long-dead relative will pop in for a visit.

That leads me to the last little bit of this: nightmares. I rarely have them, but when I do, they are usually a doozie. Most of the nightmares i've had are about me dying. Sometimes it has been a loved one, but most often it revolves around some slow-dying scenario for yours truly. Consciously, I'm not afraid of dying. I've seen enough of it and frankly, I think I've reconciled myself enough spiritually to deal with whatever lies ahead. In the dreams, however, I become terrified and usually wake up sweating and screaming.(sounds like a bad date)

Recurring dreams of Ultra-man, iron skillets, bouncing like a rubber ball only a lot higher, war, old friends and floating sex-goddesses seem like pretty standard stuff for old Scott, eh? I know that I can be a bit wordy and sometimes I come up with odd things to talk about, but just know that most of the time its my conscious mind and not the dream-state talking.

If you'd like to share, please let me know what recurring dreams you have. I'd really like to know and I have some ideas about the why's and how's. I'm sure you'll have some interesting and disturbing things to talk about, so let's have at it. Hay lofts, deer hunting, walking through tall grass, NATO rounds impacting concrete, flesh and bone, its all good for me. I relish every bit of it. If you're not afraid or embarassed, let me hear your favorites...or your most terrifying. I'll be here all week.

As I finish this, I'm going to go retire for the night, head to pillow, mind trying to calm down from the day and hoping to dream a little dream of you....

104 The Colorless Flag

Greed is Good. So goes the mantra spouted by a generation inspired and partly spawned by Gordon Gecko. Freedom of mind has had its price. We, or our parents, were challenging the "establishment" and allowing for less of a 9-5er mentality. Corporate takeovers replaced expanding industry and a little-known term called "outsourcing" was beginning to rear its ugly head.

Well kiddies, we "outsourced" ourself right into a depression. This is not a recession, its a fledging depression. I hope the ones that made their fortunes on a falsely-inflated stock market sleep well at night. I'm sure that 1200 thread count sheets, marble bathrooms and catered weekend parties help them. A lot. They insist to us when we watch the news that all is going to be well. Bull. All will not be well as long as you keep thinking you can use your credit card and smile politely when you hear about 2500 more jobs being sent overseas. Go ahead. Tell yourself that you cant make it if you dont use your card. I've said it a dozen times on here: you can live without your cell phone, your cable, your internet. You can live without buying brand-name clothes and eating out 5 times a week. You cannot, however, exist with a level of happiness and sanity without the love of your family and friends. You can live without a new car and a 6 figure house. You cant live without at least some pride in yourself. Some part of us still holds that vaunted work ethic, that proud ring of confidence and invincibility that used to mean "American".

We allowed the monied few to turn us into a nation of service industries. We allowed them to over-inflate our economy and our dollar and at the same time, dig a cavern under the foundation of our economy, our livelihood. Let me tell you that the vast underminings were NOT properly shored up. Now, the weight of a bloated nation is cracking the rock. It is causing the collapse of the whole thing, sea to shining sea.

We take no accountability for ourselves. Its someone else's fault. They didnt have to give me that loan. They didnt have to give me that card. They didnt have to market that thing to make me want it so bad. You didnt have to buy it either. You didnt have to sign the papers, either. You didnt have to make a new generation believe that the only way was to have the biggest, the best, the most, by simply signing on the dotted line.

Take accountability with everything you do from this day forward. Show your kids that working hard doesnt mean just to pay the credit card bills. We need the right KIND of work ethics. We need the right KIND of accountability. Do some research before you vote. There are still some people out there with morals, with good judgement. Encourage them. Write to them. Call them. Urge them to pass laws, HELL, urge them to enforce the just laws. America can be salvaged. We can change. We've done it before and we will have to do it again, if we are to remain a great Republic.

The rant I am on was the result of a dream I had last night. It was very cartoony, but it wasnt funny. I dreamt of the red-white-and-blue clad Uncle Sam, wringing and draining the last bit of color from the flag. The bucket swirled with our colors. A rusty, dingy milk pail. The flag was translucent with the lines still marking where the stars and bars used to be. He had a grim determination on his face and seemed intent on squeezing the last drop from Glory. There was a blood-stained chair sitting in the corner. I have my opinion of that chair, you make your own. His sleeves were rolled up, much as in the old posters. It used to mean we worked hard and we had a righteous determination, now, I fear, it means we dont want to soil ourselves with the dirty work.

Use less, fix more. Conserve, but enjoy yourself when you can. When you've earned it. Not when you've had enough because you have made your debt and are afraid to lie in it. (insert double entendre here). Use your voice and your vote to let politicians, lobbyists and corporate thugs, I mean, big business, know that we are not just fed up, we're done with them. We will change. We have to, or I fear we may fall. America, the greatest Republic ever known, must become a beacon again. We must cleanse our selves and our government of all that is wrong. We must take responsibility again for ourselves, first. When we have control of ourselves again, then, maybe, we can begin helping the world.