112 Pink Panties

A loooooong time ago, I figured out that life was much more interesting if I wasnt afraid to take chances. Not life-threatening chances, mind you.(not always, anyway) I was the kid who would do something just to see if you could do it and get away with it. I was just more subtle about some things. Aaaah, the art of deception through telling the truth. Sound complicated? Not really.

I could come home muddy, watch Mom getting mad and deflect it by telling the truth. So-and-so was riding in front of me, ran through the mud and I couldnt stop in time, so I went right on through it. It was fun, so we did it a couple more times. Still mad, but not as much. It was much better than saying "i dunno..." or " they pushed me into it". Not that you dont ever get in trouble, but no one gets away with everything.

Not to say that I, or any of you, should condone lying, quite the contrary. Lying only digs you a deeper hole. It promotes more lying and often ends badly. I just happened to find that the truth, while sometimes painful, almost always results in less punishment and quicker understanding from most people. Of course, some people are just meant to be lied to because, frankly, they're just too stupid to understand or believe the truth.

All this brings me to the point I'm at now: enough experience from doing crazy, wonderful, wild, stupid things to tell the kids not to, but I'm still likely to do them myself. Oh, I know enough not to jump off the roof with a sheet to see if I can float down, but I'm still liable to jack someone's car up, put it on blocks an inch or so off the ground and watch them wonder why the car wont move. Yes, I've done that one. A couple times. I've been known to go booney bashin' in the wife's SUV. What? I'm the one who has to fix it. I've had occasion to be out skinny dippin in places I shouldnt a' been, snuck into places I shouldnt have just to see if I could and I still occasionally like to play roadsign bingo, just to name a few.

When I got out of the Army, our families took us out to eat. As the waitress was checking on all of us mid-meal, I blurted out " I was just making a bet that you have pink underwear on." Now, I hadnt discussed this prior to her coming over and actually had just thought of it. Without missing a beat, she pulls her underwear out and says "Yep, with little blue flowers on it!". Of course, we had a good laugh and I was reminded that I'm not the only nut out there.

I've rarely been afraid to say anything to anyone, the exception being when I realize that they are either a HUUUUGE pain in the ass or too stupid to respond without explaining the meaning of the word "the". Even so, I've spoken my mind to some of these people too. You'd really be surprised how people respond when you speak some truth coupled with a modicum of tact. To quote a great line from a movie: I could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. LOL

Risk taking, truth speaking and having fun with life in general may not have made me the richest or the most well-liked, but it HAS made me happy with life in general and opened my eyes to what I consider MY personal truth: The journey is more important in some ways than the destination. If you harm no one and you learned something, good or bad, then it was worth it. I think I've passed enough of that on to my boys that they will learn, in their own time, to enjoy what they have and make the most out of life. The most, meaning what you enjoy and things that you are afraid to approach, but do anyway. There is nothing that cannot be overcome if approach it, learn and adapt yourself to the solution.

Dont be afraid to hug people, dont be afraid to eat something new(except lima beans, ugh, hate 'em) and dont sweat the small stuff. I suppose in theory, I'm probably shortening my lifespan, but I dont care. If I die tomorrow, I'm glad I sprayed WD40 in a muffler and lit it. BOOOM. I'm glad I got drunk (military) and let my wife and her friend put makeup on me. I'm glad I let the boys sit between my knees and shoot charcoal briquettes off the back porch rail when they were small. I'm glad I jumped off the frame holding the fuel oil tanks at my Grandma's onto the back of a not-so-happy steer. For the record: I have stitches, hospital bills and broken furniture that will say that some things probably shouldnt have been attempted, but I have many friends, from many places that will say "That crazy red-headed guy was nice to me. He was a good guy. Crazy, but alright." More importantly, we have friends that will say that we have kids that were friendly, adventurous and still had some manners and, more importantly, morals.

I've seen many of our friends and acquaintances leading a good life, having fun on occasion, but always the same thing. No, it's not always bad, but if I were to leave ANY kind of legacy it is to not let life pass you by without grabbing it's ass, or at the very least: ask it if it's wearing pink underwear. Have a great weekend, I've got to go check my corn liquor. :)