As I sat down this morning, wondering which way I should go with my rant, I realized I couldnt get my mind off of my dreams. About a month ago, I started writing down my dreams. I dont know if it's some Freudian crap or what, but I havent been able to remember details. Not unusual, you say? Ever since I can remember, I have had very vivid, in-depth dreams. Full color, usually a full story line and most often, they are adventure dreams.
One of my earliest dreams (recurring) was of the old 70's japanese cartoon"Ultraman". This little dude with a funky silver jumpsuit(with red accents) would cross his arms and make a "T" and turn into this 60ft tall superhero. He could shoot this lighting/beam from his crossed arms and his helmet had the same kind of eyes that the classic aliens have. You know, the slanted, black, glossy kind. He fought about the same kind of crap as Godzilla did, but I found the show a little better, maybe because it had a human factor instead of a giant, uncontrollable lizard. In my dream, I would always be the anti-Ultraman. I would have a dark red suit with silver accents and would fight him in the miniaturized sets and cardboard buildings. Dont know what it meant, but I always felt better after I had the dream. And I had it lot.
I had a recurring dream for the last 20 years or so about some ethereal "woman", nameless, faceless. I say recurring, because she is always present, but the situation changes. You dont need the details, suffice it to say that it is a dream many guys have.
The bulk of my dreams involve old classmates and friends and we are usually in a quasi-military situation, either searching for something or trying to repress an evil enemy. The places and situations change and the friends come and go, but they recur. Again, I have no idea what it's supposed to mean, but I usually wake and feel, well, infused. I have a purpose, a drive after I have had one of them. I feel....better.
Up until I started writing them down, I had a dream almost every night of my life. For the past week, I havent written anything down and I am now having dreams, but I am having trouble remembering them after I wake up. One of you that has had some schooling could probably tell me the psycho-somatic(sp?) reasons for what I have told you, but I prefer to just think of it as my mind telling me "if it aint broke, dont fix it". I think I will get it back , but it may take a while. My fat, little head works 90 miles an hour most of the time, and frankly, I have been a bit off for a week or so.
Isnt it weird how your mind works? Roz tells me that she rarely dreams and when she does, she usually only remembers the scary ones. Some people have told me that they only dream of things they've done, usually with details and maybe faces changed. Some have told me that their dreams are mad-hatter versions of life and some have told me they dont ever dream. I'm sure everyone is different in their brain functions. Not the clinical kind, the kind that is guided by their heart. Just because you dont dream or dont have complicated dreams, doesnt mean there's something wrong with you, you just might be more organized or have more clinical thought pathways. If you've read any of my rants, you know that my mind is all over the place. I suppose that's why I've tried so many varied things in my life. I get bored too easy. In my dreams, maybe my head is trying to sort through the thoughts for the day(a million and one weird ideas, each jostling for position) maybe yours is lining out your desire for structure and guidance. Doesnt mean you are not creative or smart, it just means you have a precious ability that someone like me doesnt: focus. I have tried things that your Mama warned you about, just because someone said I couldnt or it couldnt be done. Maybe my dreams are telling me I need structure, maybe yours are telling you that you dont. You may crave that structure, I rail against it.
That being said, I still have to wonder-Why do we dream what we dream?" I know that most guys, if given the choice, would have porn star dreams and beer-swilling, frat boy nightmares(the good kind). Ladies, you're on your own. I will not presume to say that the old"rich handsome doctor" kind of dreams apply to you. Maybe you dream of defeating evil ala Lara Croft or Xena or something. I suspect that a females thought pathways should in no way be compared to men. It wouldnt matter what I think, I defer to you. Please feel free to share and maybe my male readers will get an idea of the inner workings of your complicated craniums. I dont think I got all my adventuring in during my time in the military. I held back a bit due to a wife and child at home and the outrageous amount of time I spend in the woods now is no substitue. Maybe this is the reason for all the adventure dreams. I have had a few, rare dreams of old employers or teachers that were not high on my holiday card list, and I usually wake up stressed when I have these, because in the dreams, I never get to end their miserable existences. They usually are elevated above my station in the dream and do nothing but aggravate and harass me. I am not opposed to authority, these are people that have proved their idiocy to me and yet have retained a certain...elevated station in life.
I suppose, in a way, I am analyzing myself right now, but it was not my intention. I was just putting forth my experiences in the dark realm and was hoping for your take on it. Do yours work the same way? Are you dreaming of twisted, everyday events? Are they random? Familiar people or random faces? Color or black and white? I suppose I brought this whole thing up because it really disturbed me that my dreams have almost ceased since I tried to document them. I could tell you a lot of my dreams for the last 30 years or so, but now they are all but dried up. As I said previously: they ARE returning, its just that it seems like an old friend deserted me. Maybe my mind is chastising me for interrupting it. Maybe it doesnt want me delving into it, it just wants me to enjoy the ride. I have cast aside my trusty old notepad and I will not write any more of them down, so if any of you see my mind out wandering about, please tell it that I'm sorry and I'd like it to come back. It will be easy to spot: about 4 pounds(the little brain, the fun one, will never leave me, I assure you), slightly worn around the edges, probably has a little scrap of blaze orange wrapped around it and it is probably dragging a coffee thermos with an I.V. It will probably be a little talkative and it may follow you home if you pet it, but trust me, it's harmless. It likes lasagna, puppies, hot rods, playboy models and killing things that taste good with potatoes and gravy, so if you see it, lure it into your house with a trail of Krispy Kremes and call me, the wife or I will come pick it up....Oh yeah, dont be too mad if it doesnt remember your name, most of the time I cant remember my kid's names. Just put it in a box if you get it inside and dont forget to pour coffe on it once an hour until I get there. Thanks in advance for not squishing it on sight. :)
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