65 I Cant Drive 55

As a youth, I did what most teenage boys did when they got behind the wheel: drive like a bat out of hell. We had a souped-up truck at home and, well, what else should a fresh, young driver do with a few thousand pounds of jacked-up horsepower? I "drove it like I stole it", yes, I admit it. A couple months back, when I started this blog, I reported that my oldest, Nathan, had dinged up the ol family truckster. I really didnt give him that much guff over it because I know what I did to Dad's truck way back when. The worst thing I did(and had to admit to) was take out a row of mailboxes on my way home late one night. All things being equal, I know what happens when a new driver gets behind the wheel for the first couple years or so.

This brings me to what has become of driving on our highways and byways nowadays: cursing, raging tempers, high blood pressure, "Death Race" mentality and unmitigated slaughter. I am guilty of it myself. I catch myself cursing and yelling at drivers going either 20 miles under or 20 miles over the speed limit, drivers that feel they cant obey simple traffic signs or lanes and generally any idiot that falls under Scott DeWitt's "Shouldnt have a Licsense" category. How many times have you pulled up to a 4 way stop and some 'tard who cant remember his drivers handbook pulls through A-without looking and/or B-out of turn? How many idiots do you see trying to go 50 or 60 in a residential area? How many have you seen swerving and careening in and out of traffic because they were probably too stupid to either leave early enough to get to their destination on time or they are too damned dumb to care about the safety of the rest of the people on the road? Teenage boys and their "screw-you, I'm cool so I can do what I want and no one will say anything" attitude? How about people that are too old to be out of the house without an escort let alone driving a car? Little old ladies that cant see over the steering wheel, but by-God they're going to church/walmart? What about the guy who gets pissed because you're going the speed limit and he cant pass you? You know, he's the one in your rear-view mirror screaming and beating on the steering wheel, riding your bumper and laying on the horn at every opportunity.

Our roads have become an endless parade of steel, guided by short-tempered, over-worked, over-pressured folks that project all their frustrations from home and work onto anyone in traffic that doesnt conform to their idea of what speed and manner of driving they should be going. I have had women in nice vehicles that appeared to be in their 40's or 50's flip me off after THEY cut ME off at a 4 way stop. ME ME ME!!! Everyone wants everything to be about them. Of course that includes their destination being more important and their time frame being the more important one between theirs and yours. I know I have done some of this in a mild to medium manner and I regret it. Believe it or not, I do stop to think about what I've done, but only after I've gotten to where I'm going. Most of the time, I do try to obey the traffic laws, but, well....the flesh is weak.

Conversely, there is such a thing as the signage being out of place and therefore, hindering traffic flow and creating even more aggravation. For example: there is a posted limit travelling West on rt7 coming out of Reedsville of 35. Although there is a small mall ( with only 2 businesses in it) and a bank beside it, it is pretty much straight on and wide open until Masontown. The 35 limit goes for about a mile out of town and is usually a speed trap when they have the money to hire a cop. I cant really see a purpose in it remaining 35 from the grocery store to the bowling alley except for the ticket revenue, besides, the drunks at night usually dont pay attention to it anyway.

I suppose I may be putting too much into it, people get angry about everything and nothing, so why not get angry driving? You have independence and power inside your vehicle. You can choose where you're going and how fast or slow you'll get there. It may be one of the last things we can do at which we are truly free. At least as free as the laws will allow, but you should get my point. I have had to be somewhere in a hurry and so have you. Does that give us the right to be reckless and dangerous? No. You can be frustrated without contemplating mass murder inside a rolling battering ram.

Maybe we shouldnt be allowed to drive until we're 22. This would ensure that youths were either out of college (mostly unless you're Dewey Moore) or had been in the workforce for a few years. Maybe the damned bars and nightclubs should have to close a little earlier than 2 or 3 or 4. Maybe if you're caught committing a traffic violation that is a direct result of road rage you should be limited and tested somewhat like a drunk driver has a tube to blow in to start their car, maybe some sort of stress-tester. Oh that's right, most of the drunks around here just drive anyway or are slapped on the wrist and handed their license.

This time of year the traffic is insane anyway. Holiday travel and shopping, office parties and kids on break from school all contribute to clogged roads the same as summer travel and a white sale at J.C. Penny's. I would really appreciate it if everyone would stay off the Scott lane when I am out and about. Please be considerate and reschedule your happenings so that they dont conflict with my driving schedule. If I am going to be taking a leisure drive(you know, to put more money in the arabs' pockets) I will try to let you know so that you can alter your travel plans in accordance. I DO understand there are emergency situations and if you MUST head for a hospital or an injured friend/relative's aid, please disregard the wild-eyed red-head behind you, screaming and yelling and weaving in and out of his lane behind you. It is probably me and I am just expressing my frustration at your inconsiderate habit of driving in front of me and not behind and slightly to the right. Oh yeah, get the hell out of my way you friggin mook.